


Rose Red Berries & Vanilla

by SylviaNightshade



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bisexual Eva Kviig Mohn, Bisexual Noora Amalie Sætre, Emotional Baggage, F/F, Filling In the Gaps, First Kiss, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Lesbian Vilde Lien Hellerud, Linn is still me, Papa Eskild, References to Noora's time in Madrid, Sexual Content, Soft Girlfriends, background Sana/Chris, bc lesbians, eventually, season 1 rewrite
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-10-07 22:10:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 35,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17374172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SylviaNightshade/pseuds/SylviaNightshade
Summary: This was it. All Noora had to do was walk out that door, quit the bus, and forget about Eva Kviig Mohn. It was best to avoid conflict with the boyfriend, and even more important that she avoid hooking up with random guys at parties. She should just open the fucking door and step the fuck out.But she didn’t.ORWhat if Eva hooked up with Noora at the Halloween party instead of Chris?





	1. Chapter 1

As a disclaimer, Noora had only gone to the party for Eskild.

She wasn’t one for late Friday nights spent drinking, dancing, hooking up... at least, not anymore. Now that she was sober, it thoroughly sucked to be in a bar by herself. There was no one around to help her. 

Fucking Eskild... He’d somehow managed to convince her that if she didn’t go to at least one party as a first year, her social status would be ruined forever. As if that mattered; she knew how unlikely it was for her to find friends in Oslo at this point. Everyone had already formed their little groups, and she wasn’t ready to jump back into that aspect of social life. But Eskild was, and that meant she wouldn’t hear the end of it until she at least tried to open up a bit. 

So, now she was here. She sighed, clicking off her phone for one second to look around at the people chatting. Groups of girls, groups of guys, and quite a few mixed on the dance floor—none looking all that interesting. They were all students, all underage. Yet they were all slowly getting drunk, and those that weren’t were being ignored. Like Noora.

To be fair, though, Noora was the one ignoring them, actively trying not to draw attention to herself by staying on the bar, seemingly occupied with her phone. The method had already warded off a guy or two that tried to approach her. So for that she was grateful. She took a moment to check her messages, overwhelmed by the many texts she was not receiving from the many people she did not know and, honestly, did not care to know. 

Irritation was seeping into her thoughts now. Seriously, what was the point of this if she wasn’t actually going to talk to anyone? She checked the time: 21:21. That might have been too early to leave, as she’d only arrived about an hour before. But Noora Amalie Sætre did not give two shits about upholding tedious social norms, and she was set on leaving this goddamn party before she died of self-loathing boredom.

It was at that precise moment, as she slung her bag over her shoulder, that she looked up, and saw Eva Kviig Mohn, slowly making her way across the dimly-lit space. Noora recognized the redhead from her Spanish class, taking in her startlingly flattering dress and heavy makeup. Eva seemed uncomfortable, uncertain, and Noora guessed that she was probably alone. 

It was odd, seeing someone else so obviously reluctant to be there. Noora was intrigued, and a bit smitten, if she were to admit it. She watched as Eva sifted through the party-goers, finally coming to a stop to take a panoramic view of the bar. Her eyes swept over where Noora was standing, and the blonde felt her heart jump a tiny bit. 

It didn’t feel like the best time to leave anymore.

So, Noora stayed, leaned back against her stool, and observed Eva, pulling out her phone to make sure she didn't look like a stalker. Glanced up every now and then to see if Eva had moved. 

It didn’t take long for someone to approach her; one of the theatre girls that Noora remembered meeting earlier in the week threw her arms around Eva, clearly intoxicated, and shouted something incoherent. Eva pulled away, flashing a sort of awkward, friendly smile. Noora couldn’t hide her own smirk, keeping her mouth closed and looking back down at her phone to absently scroll through her Tumblr dashboard, a strange feeling settled in her chest.

After a while, Noora realized that Eva's gaze had focused on one girl in particular, who was sitting with what appeared to be a Russ group. It didn’t take long for the brunette to notice her redheaded observer staring; she clearly didn’t like it, and quickly moved to get a drink. Noora averted her gaze as she came up close to her stool. She wondered if Eva had some kind of history with this girl—there was an obvious tension there—but she didn’t dare to look over for fear of being caught. 

She didn’t need to. Eva waited approximately fifteen seconds before following the girl up to the bar, stopping to stand right in front of Noora, who was glad for both the view and the proximity. It felt bad, in her mind, but she really wanted to hear the conversation. A few more moments of silence, and then Eva was the first to speak.

“You can't ignore me forever.”

The writer in Noora jumped at the opportunity to fill in all the missing details. So this girl had been ignoring Eva? Whose fault was that? She reminded herself how inappropriate it was to think these things, but curiosity was inevitable. 

“We’re bound to talk.”

Noora’s eyes were on the phone, but her mind was not. No response from the brunette could mean anything. She exited to her home screen: a picture of Mary Wollstonecraft. Began methodically closing all of her apps, swiping up, one by one.

“Ingrid...”

The way Eva said her name was heartbreaking. It was like she was begging for forgiveness, for redemption.

“I miss you.”

Shit. Noora felt her stomach flip. There was definitely something more than platonic going on between the two of them. It felt wrong to listen now, but she couldn’t help it.

“Say something.”

Noora was almost about to slap this Ingrid if she didn’t.

The brunette turned to really look at Eva for the first time, waited a few seconds before speaking. “I would have lost the eyeliner. You look like a slut.” 

One of the girls who’d been sitting with Ingrid's group came up and whispered in her ear as she continued to glare at Eva. Just that, the creak of the barstool, and she was gone. 

Noora felt the physical shock of the insult, and even from behind, Eva’s disposition completely deflated. Well, not completely. Noora decided to give her credit for trying to keep up the facade. 

Noora also decided, in that moment, that she was going to talk to someone tonight after all. Without thinking, a comment left her tongue.

“She snapped.”

Eva turned around, and Noora felt a wave of nerves wash over her, but she was good at suppressing those. (She was.) The witty smile on her face was enough to confirm that, and she let it stretch, playing casual.

“We have Spanish together. Noora,” she offered, feeling like she needed an explanation.

The redhead nodded. “Eva.”

The eyeliner might have been a bit much, but she still looked fucking gorgeous. The two girls stared at one another for a moment before Noora spoke up.

“Did you know that according to statistics, girls who call other girls sluts have a 90% higher chance of getting chlamydia?”

She almost laughed, because it looked like Eva believed her. “Seriously?”

“No,” she admitted, inclining her head sarcastically. Eva smiled a bit, which made Noora smile, and the mood suddenly felt lighter. The blonde quirked her lips. “But it would’ve been cool if it were true.”

Leaving her there and then was the only way Noora would be able to keep up her own cool facade, so she did, and quite smoothly, too. She kept a straight face as she walked away, but her thoughts were racing. She had no idea where that flirtatiousness had come from, but she was glad for it. She felt a bit guilty about just ditching her conquest when she looked back to see Eva on her own again. But the party wasn’t likely to get any better, and Noora had seen earlier that she had a missed call from Eskild anyway. 

She gave Eva one last, wistful glance, before dialing her roommate’s number. He answered after one ring. _“... Hello?”_

“Eskild. It's Noora,” she reminded him impatiently, walking as she talked.

_“Noora! Oh, holy fuck, thank God it’s you! Listen, I forgot to tell you something!”_

She sighed, pushing open the bar's side door and stepping out into the cold air. “What is it, Eskild?”

_“... I took some of the cereal off your shelf but now it’s all over the floor...”_

Noora frowned. “Eskild, I don’t have any cereal on my shelf.”

_“You don’t? Oh... it must have been Linn’s, then...”_

“Why is it all over the floor?” Noora pressed, reaching the end of the alleyway. “What happened?”

_“Ehm... I don’t remember, really...”_

She stopped in her tracks. “Eskild... are you drunk?”

There was a pause at the other end of the phone. Noora could hear liquid being poured, followed by a long, disgusting slurp. _“Nooooo...”_

She brought a hand to her temple, letting out a breath before resuming her pace. “I’m coming home, and you’re telling me what happened when I get there. In the meantime... try not to... fall off anything high up.”

There was a slight rustle, hopefully Eskild checking his surroundings. _“Does the couch count as high up?”_

“Yes. Don’t move until you see me walk through the door.”

_“Okay, yes... will do... what do you look like again?”_

Noora fought the urge to sigh; she did that far too often these days. “Get a grip, Eskild. I only left an hour ago.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, we goin places. Hope you liked the first chapter!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Each chapter is going to be an episode-- pretty consistently until the end, when things start to change. There will probably be ten chapters total instead of eleven.

Eskild had been sleeping with the same guy for the past two months. 

His name was Soren. They’d met at the rock-themed gay club Eskild frequented. It was only supposed to be a drunken hook-up; a one-time thing, like usual. Neither had meant for it to go as far as it did, but, then again, neither of them really wanted to stop. Or, at least, that’s what Eskild had told Noora. 

Apparently, Soren was no longer interested. He’d broken it off—very gently, but through a text—which is how the box of Axa had ended up on their kitchen floor. (Linn wasn’t all that delighted to confirm that it had been hers.)

Thus, Noora had to deal with a very bitchy, depressed Eskild on her own for an entire week, which was usually how long it took for Eskild to get over things. Though that was things, not people. Yet, the next Friday, he was back to his old self, and the parent-child relationship returned to normal. 

Noora wondered if he was suppressing his emotions for her sake, or if he simply hadn’t been into the guy. She wouldn’t stand for the first option, but the second was to be expected, and after a thorough interrogation involving perhaps a bit more beer than was necessary, she decided that it had been the second reason after all.

It was only after the whole thing with her roommate had died down that she was thrown back into the world of Eva Kviig Mohn, via Facebook, which was honestly not surprising. The redhead had sent Noora a friend request a few days before she’d bothered to check her account. Noora considered it for a solid ten seconds before clicking ‘accept’. The only thing she’d been debating was whether or not she’d really use Facebook to communicate.

The next morning, Noora received a message from Eva, and clicked on it immediately, feeling agitated with herself for being so eager. She was slightly confused when it only read: _H_ , but she saw that Eva was still typing, and waited for an explanation. 

_Hi, is what I meant. Wanted to write Hi, but then I pressed the send button and so it was just H. Haha._

It was insane how adorable this girl was. 

Noora smiled at the computer screen, ignoring the butterflies in her stomach, and clicked the thumbs up. She considered writing something to go along with it, but didn’t want to give herself away. It was often far too easy to tell her tone through her writing, and keeping up the cool girl act was the only way she was going to succeed at this flirtationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short one, but the next is longer :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're finally rolling down the track!

There was a guy at school, whose name Noora didn’t care to remember, that could not seem to leave her alone.

She’d gone off on her Norwegian teacher in the beginning of the year for being a bit too sexist a bit too many times, with his remarks about the female characters in the books they were reading. Noora was honestly sorry that she hadn’t waited to talk to the teacher in private, as she had most definitely embarrassed both of them with her little speech. She knew everyone who’d seen it now judged her for it, too. 

Point being, the outburst had caught the attention of the brunette, and he’d been on her ever since. He happened to be in three of her classes, and one of them, of course, had to be Spanish. 

Noora arrived early after the autumn break, taking up her usual spot by the window and pulling out her phone. She had four texts from Linn, detailing which exact food items to shop for that afternoon. Noora considered texting back with an equally detailed explanation as to why it would be good for Linn to just get these things herself, but she’d tried that once before, and it was really not worth attempting again. Besides, Noora needed to buy some pasta to make for the flat’s movie night on Friday. She’d never remember otherwise. 

After a few minutes, the classroom started filling up with people and chatter. The low hum of their voices was quite comforting compared to the uneasy silence before. Noora intermittently regarded the doorway, waiting patiently for the dark-haired girl who usually sat beside her to enter.

A message popped up on her phone and she glanced at the sender, not bothering to read anything that followed ‘Papa’. She swiped up and left the pathetic little red one in the corner, staring at it apathetically for a few seconds before she was snapped back to reality by the flash of red hair in the corner of her vision. 

Her pulse quickened, and she turned, only to see Eva sit down at the table to her right. At the same moment, the chair beside her squeaked, and she looked to see that the figure which had plopped down in it was not the dark-haired girl.

“Hello,” grinned annoying guy, seeming a bit more pleased with himself than usual. “How are you doing?”

Noora raised an eyebrow and scoffed, turning her head away before he could say anything else. The chair to Eva’s left was unoccupied, and Noora didn’t have time to debate; she picked up her bag and, without giving the guy a second glance, walked over as casually as she could.

“I'll sit here.” The redhead looked up, almost startled, but then her face broke into the most beautiful smile that Noora had ever seen, and she nodded, sending her attraction levels into the fucking atmosphere. It was hard not to react to that, but Noora did her best to sit down with grace. Inwardly, she focused her breathing; she could do this. She slid her coat onto the back of the chair, adjusting.

“Hi,” she started, sending Eva a smile of her own. Teasing: “Or... H?”

Eva rolled her eyes, and Noora took that as a good sign. “H-H,” she replied, adding layers of cuteness that Noora didn’t know even existed. She stared at Eva, perhaps a moment longer than she should have, before their Spanish teacher finally entered, greeting the class. 

Eva turned to Noora, looking both confused and panicked. “Should we have done homework during the fall break?”

Noora started. She hadn’t known? The señora had reminded them a good two weeks beforehand. “Yes!” she responded automatically.

The redhead looked down at her desk, whispering, “Fuck!”

“Eva?” the señora began in Spanish. “What does the main character of this story do?”  
Noora waited a few seconds, leaning over to whisper the answer in Eva’s ear. “Uh- she feels alone,” Eva repeated aloud.

“Noora, I don’t want you to respond for Eva.”

“She hadn’t found her homework yet,” the blonde quickly lied. “I was just helping.” For good measure, she added, “And you asked it the wrong way. The right way would be: What are the main characters of this story like?”

The señora paused to consider this. “You’re right. I’m sorry!” Noora wasn’t sure if the apology was directed at her or Eva, but either way, she was glad they’d avoided that situation. It just so happened that Eva was now looking at her in awe. As soon as Noora saw the expression, she understood.

“I lived in Madrid,” she clarified.

“Okay, okay,” Eva replied immediately, letting out a breath and smiling at her again. Noora sincerely wished she would never stop.

“That's why I don’t have any friends,” she continued. “In Oslo.” Which was not exactly a lie; she had Eskild and Linn, but only to a certain extent. They shared her flat; that didn’t mean they were her friends. She nudged Eva playfully. “What’s your excuse?”

She hoped that Eva wouldn’t be insulted by her assumption, and fortunately, she didn’t seem to be. The redhead considered the question for a second before answering. 

“Strong body odor,” she joked.

Noora let out a little laugh, looking at her notebook. “Okay.” She looked back at Eva, who was looking at her lips, and the blonde felt it instantly: she had completely fallen. There was no way out of this now.

~<:>~ 

 

Okay, so maybe inviting a girl she had pretty much just met—sort of befriended—back to her actual living quarters for a movie night that sounded way too much like Netflix-and-chill was a little much. 

But it was a perfect opportunity to hang out with her. Eva would realize that Noora wanted to spend time with her, hopefully not in a creepy way, and Eskild and Linn would be there, so they wouldn’t really be on a date...

Maybe it was too obvious, too soon, too... completely not Noora. She sighed, ducking out of her last class. It had been three years since her last romantic conquest, and that hadn’t been anything like this. He was the one coming after her; she was always playing hard to get. She didn’t know why all of sudden she was so eager to make the first move.

She spotted Eva immediately after exiting the double doors and groaned internally. She was just standing in front of the bulletin, completely alone, looking as though she had nowhere to be. If Noora didn’t ask her now, she never would. 

The blonde sighed, smoothing out her jacket along with her internal organs, and strode over confidently, stopping with a little hop in front of the board. 

“H,” she stated, pointing to the poster. “As in, ‘Have you got a drug problem?’ ”

Eva smiled and laughed, compelling Noora to smirk as she inclined her head in the redhead’s direction. It was now or never. Her heart was screaming. “Or... H, as in... Have you got any plans for Friday?”

The two were allowed a split second to stare at each other, giving Noora absolutely no time to judge Eva’s reaction to her proposition, before a ridiculously happy girl interrupted them.

“Hi!” She had blonde hair and white teeth, and she smiled brightly at Eva. Noora wanted to strangle her. She glanced over to see that Eva looked a bit uncomfortable, or at least a bit annoyed, like she didn’t really feel like talking to this girl. Good; that was good. She even looked a bit guilty as she introduced them.

“Eh, Vilde, this is Noora.” Eva gestured between the two. 

Vilde smiled even wider, which seemed impossible. “Hi.” Noora chose not to respond. 

Vilde turned back to Eva. “Have you talked to Chris?”

Fuck. Now there was a Chris involved? Maybe the redhead wasn’t completely friendless after all, Noora thought without a proper amount of jealousy. Eva frowned, shaking her head. “Eh, no.”

“We can’t have the bus meeting at hers. Her mom is having a wine reception,” Vilde explained, face suddenly taking on a lot of stress. “And we can’t have it at mine, because it will be stressful for me.” Noora could see that. “So,” Vilde continued. “I was wondering if we could have it at yours?”

Eva looked startled. “Mine?” Noora watched her face carefully. “Eh, yes! But, how many will come?” 

Vilde turned to the other blonde, smiling again. “Do you want to join?”

Noora put on her best ‘I-hate-you-but-I’m-pretending-to-be-interested-in-what-you’re-saying-because-it’s-polite’ expression. “What?”

“Bus meeting,” Vilde repeated, as if that explained anything.

Noora shook her head, trying very hard to emanate how lost she was. “Bus meeting... what...?”

“We’re creating the world’s coolest Russ bus!” 

There was a spark in Vilde’s eyes that Noora absolutely despised. Seriously? Eva was joining a Russ bus? The most capitalistic thing about Norwegian youth? This early in first year? Vilde didn’t stop smiling, acted like everything was perfectly okay. “You want to join?” she asked, as if she were doing Noora a favor. The taller blonde dropped her expression.

“No.”

Vilde’s smile also faded a bit at that news. Her pale eyes flicked to Eva’s. “Then we’re with three.”

At that moment, a short brunette with a round face entered the scene, trailed by a pretty girl who was wearing a hijab. “Hi guys!” The brunette greeted only Vilde and Eva; Noora made the logical assumption that this was Chris. “Meet Sana,” Chris continued, gesturing to the girl in the hijab. “She’ll join the bus meeting.”

Noora couldn’t help but stare at Sana. It wasn’t because of the hijab, but rather the stone-cold expression on her gothic face. It was hard not to be impressed by how composed this girl was, how well she did her make-up, how absolutely ready to fight she looked. If anyone wanted to create the ‘world’s coolest Russ bus’, Sana definitely had to be on it. 

Vilde, on the other hand, appeared very uncomfortable, yet she stuck on that blinding smile again. “Where do you two know each other from?”

“We met at a Ramadan program in the mosque,” Sana replied without missing a beat, the expression on her face unchanged. 

Vilde looked slightly mortified, but Chris started laughing like a maniac, which led Noora to believe that it was definitely a joke. As soon as the brunette stopped, she noticed the look her friend was giving her.

“She’s joking; we have German together,” she recovered, clearing her throat.

The tension didn’t leave Vilde's face. “But... you want to join our bus?”

“Yes,” Sana stated obviously. 

Vilde let out a sort of awkward laugh. “Is... is that okay, then...?”

“What’s the problem?” Sana looked like she was ready to destroy the blonde girl, and Noora wouldn’t have stopped her. 

“No, eh...” Vilde almost blushed as she worked up to her answer. “Just... since you are Muslim... isn’t it true that Muslims aren’t allowed to... be a Russ?” Noora exchanged a look with Eva, grateful that the other girl was beside her to witness all this.

Sana put on what Noora could only describe as a bitchface. “No,” she started, widening her eyes. “It’s punished by stoning.”

Chris started her insane-sounding laughter right back up, but she was the only one laughing again. She stopped when she realized it. Noora smirked. This Sana girl was savage. She appeared unfazed by or perhaps just over Vilde’s existence, and turned to Chris. “When is it?”

“Tomorrow,” Chris responded, and Noora’s stomach sank. So that would be a no for Eva on the movie night, and would have been even if these three girls hadn’t shown up. “Who’s hosting?” 

“Me.” Eva raised her hand slightly. However, Noora continued her thoughts, if she joined this little Russ bus, she would technically be invited back to Eva’s actual living quarters. And they’d still get to spend the night together, absolutely not in that way, but still. 

Sana gave the redhead a once-over. “I’ll put your address in the GPS.” Eva nodded, a bit timid. It was decided, then. Noora was literally joining a Russ bus for this girl. She pursed her lips, allowing the corners to curl a bit.

“Auf Wiedersehen!” Chris called to Sana as she strode out of the scene. Turning back to the group: “It means ‘see you later’.”

Vilde’s posture was stiff, jaw clenched. The second Sana was out of earshot, the blonde snapped. “She can’t be on our bus,” she stated in a low tone.

“Why not?” Chris asked, confused.

“We’ll give her a chance,” Noora interrupted, surprised at how authoritative she sounded. No, there were no butterflies in her stomach because the statement had garnered Eva’s attention. “She was really cool.”

Vilde turned to her, incredulous. “We? You’re not even on our bus!”

“If she’s joining, so am I,” Noora retorted, not bothering to mention who the actual ‘she’ was.

“Awesome!” Chris exclaimed. The brunette brought her hand up for a high-five, expecting the blonde to do the same. Noora splayed both palms awkwardly, smirking at both herself and Chris, as the girl still slapped at her hand. 

Noora curled her wrists in and turned to Vilde, who did not look happy. She cast her disapproval upon Chris for a few seconds before brushing past her indignantly. The shorter girl followed quickly afterwards, leaving Eva and Noora alone.

Noora sucked air between her teeth, making a face at the redhead. “Drama!”

Eva laughed, looking down at the ground, then back up. Her eyes were so bright. Noora wanted to kiss her. “So... I guess we both have plans for Friday now?” Eva said it like a question, the way she seemed to say everything: insecure.

“Yes,” Noora confirmed. “But, eh... what time...?”

“Oh, yeah.” Phone in hand, Eva unlocked it and began tapping around. “I can send you the details... or, at least, what Vilde gave me...”

Noora watched for a few seconds before boldly suggesting: “Should you maybe have my number, then?”

Eva looked up, thumb hovering over the screen. Her lips were parted in a perfect ‘o’ of surprise, which soon broke into a small smile. “Sure!”

Noora laughed and shook her head, pulling out her own phone. “Okay.” Pretending to be amused at Eva’s eagerness was the best way to stay calm and collected. Although, Eva looked a bit embarrassed, and for that Noora was sorry. 

She listed off her number from memory, adding Eva’s after the other girl sheepishly called the blonde’s phone to see what it was. Noora tried not to notice how much Eva bit her lip. How her eyelashes curled when she blinked. How the blush on her cheeks grew redder every time their eyes met.

Parting ways was not easy.

 

~<:>~

 

_“Hello.”_

“Hi."

_“... Did you get your father’s text?”_

“Yes.”

_“... What do you think, then?”_

“I think you’re wasting your time texting me when I’ve already told you I won’t be a part of this.”

 _“... Noora... you have to understand—"_

"Do I?"

_“...”_

“Just leave me alone. Stop calling me. Please?”

_“... Okay.”_

 

~<:>~

 

Noora didn’t know what to wear.

Which was a problem, because she had a shit ton of clothes. Just, none of them seemed to be working. She’d tried to go for classy, which was too fancy, casual, which was too dirty, and she didn’t know whether to put on a skirt? She never wore skirts?? But she knew she looked good in them, so it was tempting. But it didn’t matter. Nothing was good enough for Eva.

She decided not to change, in the end. The outfit she’d worn to school suited her well, and she didn’t want to make it seem like she was trying to impress anyone; she wasn’t. Besides the fact that she didn’t have any friends at the moment, there was absolutely nothing riding on this bus meeting. Telling herself that was the only way Noora could calm her nerves, even if it wasn’t true.

She sighed, combing a hand through her already tangle-free locks. At times like these, she was incredibly grateful that no one could hear her thoughts. Speaking of, she checked the clock. She had just enough time to touch up her signature red lipstick before heading out.

Eva was waiting by the door when Noora showed up. She opened it nervously, but smiled when she saw who it was. “Oh, good,” she breathed. “I wasn’t sure you were going to show.”

Noora quirked her eyebrows. “Great company in there?”

Eva flushed, laughing at the floor. “Vilde is freaking out in the kitchen, because Chris and Sana seem to be hitting it off. She decided to start making cupcakes.”

Noora loved the way Eva’s eyes lit up when she told stories. 

“I didn’t want to be the only... sane one... or, you know,” the redhead continued, making sure to keep her voice down. Noora let her lips curl.

“You think I’m sane?” she quipped. Eva laughed and it made Noora’s insides churn. “Or no? Maybe that’s why you aren’t letting me in the door.”

The other girl stepped back, amused. “Oh, sorry.” Noora tried not to notice how their fingertips brushed as she passed. 

Their little Russ bus meeting took a while to commence. Noora sat on the couch with her phone, only glancing up when Eva decided to take a seat right next to her. Sana spent the majority of the time inspecting her nails and scoffing at Vilde, who really was obsessed with the cupcakes. 

“We have a really big advantage over the other bus groups,” the other blonde was saying as she passed the cupcake tray around. “I already bought a lot of toilet paper.” Noora wasn’t even going to pretend she knew why toilet paper would give them an advantage. 

“Yeah,” Chris said as she reached for a cupcake. “Vilde managed to buy toilet paper for 40,000 kroner with a credit card... from... another... bus...” she trailed off when she caught Vilde’s warning glare.

“Anyway,” the blonde started back up. “We’re left with a profit of 60,000 kroner. According to the budget, we’ll need 50,000 next to the toilet paper sales.” Noora had pretty much stopped listening at this point. The words travelled through her. “So I’ll need an individual plan from all of you on how you’ll earn that money.” When no one responded, Noora looked up. Vilde was sitting down now, shooting each of them a worried look. “Is there something?”

There was movement from Sana's side of the room as the dark-haired girl straightened in her chair. “We’re wasting time on toilet paper. It’s not enough.”

Vilde looked taken aback. “It’s important that we have it—"

“Listen, we’re losers at school,” Sana cut her off. “If we don’t want to end up in a loser car, we need a strategy.” Noora had to bite her lip to keep from exclaiming about how stupid this all was. Loser car? Who gave a literal fuck? 

“We aren’t the losers of the school,” Vilde defended immediately, because of course that was what she was worried about.

Sana gave her a look. “Wasn’t it you who was thrown out of another bus?”

Vilde frowned. “Not really... thrown out...”

“Yes you were,” Chris interjected, unashamedly. Vilde shot another glare her way, but the brunette ignored it, biting into her cupcake.

Sana sighed, rolling her eyes. “Listen, Vilde. It’ll be hard if you deny everything. Acknowledge that we’re losers.” She waved a cursory hand around at the group.

“Do you think so yourself?” Vilde demanded. 

The other girl scoffed, splaying her palms. “Hello?! I’m a Muslim girl in a faithless country. I’m the biggest loser of them all.”

Vilde didn’t seem to have anything to say to that. Neither did Noora, although her thoughts were going rapid-fire. Sure, she’d grown up without religion, like most of the Norwegian kids she knew. That just made Sana's reasoning all the more valid. The room was silent for a few seconds before Chris spoke up. 

“You talk really maturely,” she stated in awe.

“Thanks,” Sana replied, simultaneously humbled and pleased at the recognition.

“But what do you want us to do?” Vilde had found her voice again.

Sana leaned forward dangerously, as if setting up her line of attack. “First, we need more girls. Cool girls,” she emphasized, making Noora roll her eyes internally. The dark-haired girl simply looked around at the four of them. “How do we do that?”

Vilde worried her lip. “Ask them?” she started tentatively.

“Wrong,” Sana bit back immediately. “We ask nothing. The cool girls ask us. But first, we need something that we don't have.” There was a glint in her eye now. “A four-letter word...” Noora was completely blank for this one.

“Spenn!” Chris shouted into the silence.

“Cred,” Sana corrected, unfazed.

“Spenn has five letters, Chris,” Vilde reminded her kindly.

Sana continued with little regard. “Do we know any ’97 guys?” 

Silence.

Sana, disappointed: “Okay... Then we need to find out who from the ’97 people have the best bus, get ourselves invited to parties and to those buses.” She paused. “Any idea how we'll do that?” she repeated, testing them, seeing if they were getting her theme. 

Noora thought she had an idea as to where this was going, but... Sana couldn’t mean—

“You guys have to hook up with them.”

And there it was. The sentence to end all sentences, and Noora was surprised she didn’t fall completely apart in that moment. Instead she blinked, sucked air into her lungs, and tried not to throw up as a wave of nausea and regret washed painfully over her. 

She barely registered Eva’s low “Are you serious?” at her right. And despite that little reminder as to why she had come, Noora realized she’d made a mistake. She couldn’t do this; she couldn’t be here. She couldn’t stand to go through that shit again. Fuck, she should have known. She should have known that no one would be different here.

And then her eyes drifted slowly to find Eva’s, and the gray-blue concern that was reflected there left her stunned. It snapped her back to reality, somehow, and she offered a quick smile of reassurance. Satisfied, Eva turned back to the group, while Noora silently tried not to freak out.

“Does anyone have a boyfriend?” Sana was saying. Noora sincerely thought not, and she could tell that Sana did, too. The only one of them who could maybe garner someone normal and sane was—

“I do.”

Of fucking course.

Eva raised her hand as she had done the day before, and despite the knowledge she’d gained, Noora found it no less adorable. 

She stared for as long as she was allowed—only a few seconds—studying the profile of the girl she liked, the pretty pink-lipped girl with round cheeks and a turned-up nose, who was beautiful and bright and _had a boyfriend_ , and suddenly everything made sense, and Noora was almost laughing at how easily she’d fallen under the redhead’s spell. 

_Of course_ she had a boyfriend. Of course she did. Noora should have known someone else would have already recognized Eva’s beauty, late as she’d shown up.

Rationalizing didn’t make it sting any less.

“How old is he?” Sana pressed. Noora suddenly found that she detested the sound of the dark-haired girl’s voice. 

“He’s from ’99...” Eva said it like a wrong answer, to which Sana snorted.

“Dump him.”

Noora was incredulous. “You’re not serious?” She could hardly believe the words had left her mouth, as jealous as she was of this guy.

“She’s the prettiest here. It’s wasted if she has a boyfriend,” Sana stated simply. Noora grit her teeth, letting out a short laugh instead of biting the other girl’s head off, hijab and all.

“Honestly, this is really stupid,” she started.

Sana narrowed her eyes. “What is?”

Noora conjured up her best disgusted face, fueling it with internal rage. “You can’t ask us to use our sexuality in exchange for credibility...”

_It only hurts you in the end. It’ll make you hate yourself. Maybe you’ll move to another country, adopt a new identity, because you can’t stand being you anymore._

“You’re crazy,” she finished instead, half-mumbling.

“No, I’m honest,” Sana argued, immovably stone-cold. “Norwegian girls exchange sex for money, popularity, and acknowledgment every day. We might disagree on values, but this isn’t news to you! It’s your culture. It is crazy. So try to change it instead of criticizing it.”

The room was silent, an undeserved awestruck feeling in the air again. Noora clenched her jaw.

This girl had no idea what the fuck she was talking about.

Vilde was the first to speak. “But... it’s a little much to ask Eva to break up with her boyfriend...”

Sana curled her lip. “It was a suggestion,” she rebuffed. “She can think for herself; she’s not a child.”

Noora couldn't stand it. She was practically shaking. Without explanation, she turned to Eva. “Sorry, but, where is your bathroom?” she asked as quietly and as casually as she could. Eva looked startled.

“Oh, yeah, ehm, are you okay?”

“Fine,” Noora replied, ignoring the butterflies that told her she cares and focused on the ones that reminded her she has a boyfriend. She didn’t hear the Eva’s response, heading off in the first direction she had pointed. As Noora left, she could hear Sana's smug, “I think it went well,” and barely made it to the bathroom without vomiting. 

 

~ <> ~

 

Later, after she’d collected herself, Noora stepped out of the bathroom ready to leave. She was greeted by an empty living room. A bit of panic rose in her stomach as she realized it was only her and Eva in the house now. She hadn’t been gone that long, had she? 

“Hey.”

Noora practically jumped at the sound, soft as it was, and turned to see Eva standing in the dimly-lit hallway, looking even more concerned than she had before. “Is... everything okay? You were in there a while.”

Noora forced a small smile, shaking her head. “I’m fine. Just a bit tired from all that.”

Eva nodded, rubbing her lips together. “Well, ehm... you can stay or... or go whenever you want. I have a guest room—"

“Yes, thank you,” Noora laughed. “Thanks very much. But I should go home and... finish schoolwork.”

Eva nodded again, smiling. “Yeah, me too.”

Noora felt the mood lighten, seeing Eva break her worry with a smile. She slung her bag over her shoulder, taking a few steps toward the hallway. “How is that Spanish assignment coming for you?”

Eva groaned. “Terribly.” Noora reached her, laughing. They began walking casually, side by side, towards the door. “But I think everyone is struggling with it... probably.”

Noora raised an eyebrow. “I’m not,” she teased. At that, Eva rolled her eyes. They’d reached the door.

This was it. All Noora had to do was walk out that door, quit the bus, and forget about Eva Kviig Mohn. It was best to avoid conflict with the boyfriend, and even more important that she avoid hooking up with random guys at parties. She should just open the fucking door and step the fuck out. 

But she didn’t.

Instead, she turned to the beautiful redhead beside her and offered: “I can tutor you in Spanish if you want.”

Eva looked surprised. “Ehm...”

“I mean... not tutor,” Noora amended. “Just... I can help you out if you need something to be explained, or... you can just copy my work, if you want.”

Eva laughed, brushing a bit of hair over her shoulder. “Yes, I’ll definitely be doing that!” The two girls shared their amusement for a few more seconds before Eva nodded sincerely. “But... thank you. That would help me out a lot.”

Noora didn't know if that was a yes or a no, but she'd take it. “Great,” the blonde smiled, staring carefully into Eva’s eyes, catching her quick heartbeat. “Bye, then.”

As she closed the door behind her, she heard Eva’s soft “Bye.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyyyy sexual tension


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all aren't ready for the pre-party.

Noora could finally, definitely, solidly confirm that she was in fact the world’s largest idiot.

Or, at least, Norway’s. (Not that she was happy about it.)

She’d spent the entire weekend pining over Eva while simultaneously stressing about her schoolwork and furiously trying to get a head start on her Norwegian project. It was no help that Eskild kept popping into her room with little antic dotes about whatever the fuck was going on in his life; she had to physically remove him on Sunday afternoon to keep him from going into detail about this one guy’s hair. 

It was now Sunday evening, almost midnight to be exact, and she was nowhere near ready to fall asleep.

She knew it was unreasonable. She’d thought it through. So, the girl was pretty. More than pretty. Fucking beautiful. And adorable. And though she’d never seen Eva at her finest, Noora knew the redhead was also damn hot. 

But physical appearance tells nothing. So far, all of Noora’s interactions with Eva revealed that she was a bit shy, funny when she wanted to be, but overall quiet, especially in Spanish. Yet, that somehow made her more mysterious.

Noora groaned into her pillow, half-expecting Linn to poke her head in and tell her to shut up. Why the fuck was this so hard? It was a crush. She had a crush on a girl who was dating a boy; there was nothing to suggest that said girl might have an inkling of attraction towards other girls. Well, okay, Noora kind of prided herself on her ability to spot queer girls anywhere, but just because she suspected Eva might swing for both teams didn’t mean she had any solid evidence. 

So she should just let it go. They were just beginning a friendship after all, and there was no point in ruining that over something she couldn’t confirm.

It still took her another hour to fall asleep.

 

~<:>~

 

Upon arriving at school that morning, Noora noticed Chris and Vilde standing by the entrance to the main building, heads together and voices hushed. They didn’t appear to want any company, but as she walked towards the entrance, Noora realized she was about to pass by them. Should she interrupt their conversation just to say hello? 

Vilde saw her before she could decide, giving her a bright smile and a wave. Noora nodded back, forcing what she hoped was a pleasant look onto her face. She liked Vilde, but she was still considering quitting the bus, and it would be awkward to pretend that she wasn’t. 

Spanish was first that day—the cause of her insomnia the previous night. She entered the room to see Eva already in her seat, which gave her butterflies on top of butterflies because now she had to be the first one to speak and she was not good at that. 

She absentmindedly adjusted her hair as she walked, hoping Eva would see her before she reached the other side of the table. To Noora’s surprise and relief, Eva did notice her. She smiled in that aggravatingly perfect way.

“Hi!”

“Hi,” Noora couldn’t help but smile back. She sat down carefully, plopping her bag beside the chair. “How was your weekend?”

“Good,” Eva nodded, grinning again. “Very good. I thought of you.”

That caught Noora off guard. _She had a good weekend because she thought of me???_ The surprise must have shown on her face, because Eva clarified. “I mean, of your offer. That assignment was fucking hard.”

Noora blinked, swallowing her thudding heart and attempting a smile. “Oh, yeah, I figured you would take me up on that.”

Eva laughed, nudging the other girl’s shoulder playfully. “Ouch. Am I really that bad?”

Fuck. She was being so cute today, what the fuck? Noora made a mental note to stop mentally cursing so much, but she never listened to her mental notes, as demonstrated by her complete inability to stay away from Eva. 

She shrugged, a warm feeling in her chest. “Maybe. We’ll see after school Wednesday.”

Eva gave her those all-too-familiar owl eyes before parting those perfectly kissable lips again at her boldness. “So you’ve already got a date and everything?” Noora nodded, shooting her a knowing look. 

“Don’t say you can’t make it; I know you have no life if you’re joining a Russ bus.”

Eva seemed to falter for a moment, and Noora feared she’d gone too far. But then she felt their shoulders touch again and Eva was reeling with sass. “Excuse me, you are joining the same bus.”

Noora supposed she was. She submitted with a sheepish look towards the red-head, who was practically glowing with amusement and energy and yes.

This. This was good.

 

~<:>~

 

They agreed to meet at Eva’s house, mainly because Noora hadn’t told Eskild yet, and he would be all over this... whatever it was. She slightly regretted telling him she was bi, because he made such a big deal out of it when it honestly wasn’t that abnormal. But Eskild seemed to think that bisexuals were some sort of endangered species and thus thought she should paint flags all over her room and come to pride and celebrate her ‘otherness’. 

Which, Noora was not against at all. She loved Eskild’s enthusiasm—though she’d never admit it to him—but her sexuality was honestly very common. It didn’t make sense for her to wear it like a badge; most of the time it’s easier to accept something or someone if they’re just like everyone else. And Noora was definitely not like everyone else, but okay, she was trying.

She was trying not to freak out, standing on Eva’s doorstep. 

With Eva.

Had this been her idea? Oh yeah.

“Normally I don't come in this way,” Eva confessed, pushing the door open. “But I just... since you’re... yeah.” She was back to her very articulate self. Noora sensed there was something behind that, but she didn’t want to pry. At least not yet.

They traipsed down the stairs to Eva's bedroom. Noora turned those words over in her mind a few times as she looked around at the warm basement suite. Honestly, she would have killed to have a floor—even half of one—to herself. She could get used to coming here. Her cheeks burned at the thought and she ducked her head away so Eva couldn’t see.

“So, ehm, where do you usually come in?” There didn’t seem to be any other exit.

Eva laughed softly, and Noora turned to see her pointing to a high window across from the bed. It hardly looked big enough to fit through; the surprise must have shown on her face because Eva laughed again. “I know it's weird.”

Noora shook her head. “No, it makes sense.”

“It really doesn’t,” the redhead admitted, shrugging. “But I’ve done it for so long, so... I guess now it’s weird to come in through the front door.” She trailed off. 

Noora watched her throw all her things down around the bed, which was very amusing, because she’d seemed like such a neat freak for whatever reason, but now Noora could tell that she was just a big mess. Just like the rest of the world. It made her feel all warm and okay she definitely needed to put her stuff down and not be awkward now.

As she did, Eva flopped onto the bed, Spanish book in one hand and notebook in the other. Noora hovered, unsure of where to sit. Eva glanced up, small smile rounding her cheeks. “You can join me.” 

“Oh, yeah,” Noora answered, nodding as she looked around the room for a chair. There was a plush, soft-enough-looking footrest in the corner that she decided to drag up. Settled in as much as possible, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“Okay,” she started, arranging the papers in her lap. Looked up to see Eva staring in amusement, biting her bottom lip. “What?” Noora asked, laughing a little.

“You’re just cute.” 

Noora’s heart nearly jumped out of her chest at that, but she fought it down, smirking. “Excuse me,” she managed. “I’m more than cute.”

“Yeah,” Eva hummed in agreement, still staring at her with a small smile. “You’re smokin’, girl!” she said in English, making them both laugh. 

“Now, say that in Spanish,” Noora joked, in an attempt to get them back on track, but Eva just laughed harder. 

 

~<:>~

 

Noora was starting to imagine what it would be like to go out with Eva, and that was not something she could actually have, probably ever, so she forced the brakes on her train of thought and walked over to chat with Sana, Vilde, and Chris, who looked like she was trying to mediate an argument between the former two head-strong girls. They all greeted her when she approached before going back to their conversation.

Noora wasn’t really listening, anyway. She had her focus on the girl who had insulted Eva at the bar that first night—Ingrid? She was sitting with a rather large group of girls—probably her own stupid Russ bus—like she was their queen or something. The dirty blonde beside her seemed to be second in command. Noora narrowed her eyes, just as Ingrid caught her gaze. 

The brunette looked startled, frowning back for a few seconds before looking pointedly away. Noora smirked. 

_Good, she thought. At least she knows when to back down._

As she was thinking, Eva approached with phone in hand, holding it up for the others to see. “Guess who’s invited to a party with the Penetrator guys?” Her hair was in a braid and she looked flushed and fucking beautiful. Noora almost didn’t register what she said. 

Vilde and Chris started freaking out. “Are you serious? Eva?!” They took the phone from the redhead, reading the texts aloud. _“Penetrator party at Borkis’ on Friday. Can you bring some friends? Are they hot?”_

“Yes!” Vilde exclaimed, giggling. 

“Relax,” Sana interjected suddenly, dampening the mood with her cool tone. Noora stiffened, still unsure how to feel about the dark-haired girl based on what she’d said the last Friday. “Try to be cool.” 

Vilde looked annoyed and pointedly ignored her, though quieter. “We have to get alcohol.”

“Yeah, I’ll ring the beer man!” Chris said. 

Vilde frowned. “Maybe someone else?”

“What’s wrong with the beer man?”

Vilde looked around at the group, eyes landing specifically on Sana, who raised an eyebrow. “Are you looking at me? Do I look like I drink?”

When Vilde’s gaze fell to Noora, she decided to be a bit kinder. “I don’t drink either.”

Vilde didn’t seem to take note of her effort. “What an awesome gang,” she concluded quite unfairly. Did she miss the memo that they were losers? Though Noora was yet again conflicted about agreeing with Sana. 

“I can take some wine from my mom,” Eva offered.

Vilde was visibly relieved. “Can you? Can we share? I can pay if you want. I can’t take any from my mom. Her wine is so expensive, which is why she keeps it—”

“Stop talking.”

Noora raised her eyebrows at the second rude interjection from Sana in five minutes. However, she didn’t feel it was her place to defend Vilde, as all she knew about her thus far was her obsession with popularity and subtle racism. 

“You talk too much.” 

The scene that followed consisted of Vilde trying to speak quite a few times without success, as Sana kept shushing her, until she finally shut up and Sana walked away with her hand in the air, like she was pushing away Vilde’s stupidity. Noora… had no words. 

Vilde, on the other hand, did. “Seriously? She can’t be on our bus group. She’s completely psycho!”

None of the other girls responded, looking around at each other. Noora noticed that Eva had moved closer to her in Sana’s absence. It filled the bottom of her stomach with a warmth that she did not feel guilty about enjoying. 

“Beer man.” 

Chris seemed to have gotten him on the phone. “Yes, please.” She was speaking English. “We’d like some beer for… four girls. And a hundred boys!” 

They all laughed a little. “Do we have to pay? We have a friend here who’s called Vilde, if maybe she can flash?” Despite herself, Noora was cracking up with the others. “So we don’t need to pay—in cash. Or maybe we can get Noora to do it?” Eva laughed louder then. 

“No, we don’t do that,” Chris chided herself. “Hello? Hello! Are you in prison?”

 

~<:>~

 

When they got to the party, there were actually about a hundred boys there. Noora was underwhelmed by their appearances, considering most of them were wearing those ridiculous Penetrator hoodies and were clearly fuckboys. She spotted more than four girls, however, and so did the rest of the gang once they stopped ogling the boys. 

“Fuck.” Noora heard from beside her. Eva looked downright terrified, while still managing to pull off being hot as fuck in the outfit she was wearing, with just the right amount of make-up this time. 

“What are they doing here?” Vilde whispered, snapping Noora out of her Eva-induced trance. Two seconds later, per-usual Vilde-style, she was walking up to them with a bright smile. “Hi!”

Eva turned to Noora. “Wasn’t it those girls who threw her out of the bus?”

“Wasn’t it one of those girls who called you a slut?” Noora added. 

Then, to her utmost surprise and delight, Eva grabbed her arms and pulled her close. “Don’t go,” the redhead pleaded, still looking at the group Vilde was chatting up. “Either I’ll get assaulted by Chris, or killed by those girls.” 

Noora laughed, unable to contain her giddiness at Eva’s proximity and obvious, desperate need of her. Not like _that_ , but. Noora could dream. 

“Okay,” she said. “I won’t leave you.” 

They ended up migrating to one of the only empty couches, neither particularly caring to dance. Eva had a beer and Noora had water, and they sat in a comfortable silence over the loud music. Eventually, Noora struck up the conversation.

“So, who’s Chris?”

“Oh,” Eva said. “He’s some Penetrator guy I met at that party—that party where we met, actually.”

“We met in Spanish class,” Noora corrected, half-joking. 

“Yeah, but.” Eva rolled her eyes. “I didn’t _talk_ to you, then.”

“Okay,” Noora pretended to concede. Eva took a sip of her drink. “Why did you think he would assault you? Weren’t you flirting with him?” She hoped she didn’t sound jealous. 

Eva sighed, crinkling her nose. “Yeah, sure, but… I still have a boyfriend. And he just strikes me as someone who doesn’t care about that.” 

Noora hummed in sympathy, though she was trying to avoid talking about Eva’s boyfriend at all costs. She didn’t think she was the type of person who wouldn’t care about that, up until meeting Eva, so she might have understood why Chris wouldn’t either. 

“There he is,” Eva said, tilting her head while keeping her eyes on Noora. The blonde looked up to find a brunette guy with a bit of a quiff—wearing a Penetrator hoodie, shocker—staring them down while taking long drinks from his beer. 

“That guy?” Noora scoffed. “Yeah, with the eye contact he’s making it seems like he wouldn’t care if you were a serial killer if it meant he’d get laid.” 

Eva laughed. “Thanks. You know what to say to make me feel better. Like, the first thing you said to me made me feel better. And not a lot of people can do that.”

Trying her best to take that overwhelming compliment in stride, Noora diverted the conversation to another burning question she’d had. “So… what’s up with those girls anyway? You and Ingrid?” 

Eva’s face fell ever so slightly. She looked over to where they were sitting, then back down. “It’s complicated.”

Her voice was soft and Noora didn’t want to press. At least not when they were in such a public space. Besides, she knew what it was like to want the past to stay a secret. 

Just as she was about to open this up to Eva, her phone vibrated. It was one of her roommates from Madrid—well, _the_ roommate—the one she’d been avoiding having a conversation with—Carmilla. 

Noora blinked. If Carmilla was calling now, it must have been important. They hadn’t spoken since Noora moved back to Oslo. 

“Ehm, sorry, I have to take this.” Noora started to stand, distracted by her phone, but Eva’s hand shooting out and grabbing her hip was enough to pull her attention back. The redhead moved her eyes to where Chris was still creepily standing, indicating that Noora, as she had promised, couldn’t leave her alone. 

But the call from Carmilla had to be important. Noora felt it in her gut. She took another look at Eva and sat back down. “Okay,” she said. “I can take it here, but just… don’t listen, okay?” 

Eva nodded, shifting slightly away from Noora to distance her hearing. Noora just hoped she hadn’t taught Eva enough Spanish for her to even understand the conversation. 

“Hola?”

_“Noora?”_

It was so startlingly familiar, Noora felt the air leave her lungs for a split second. “Carmilla? Hi!”

_“Hi, oh my god, it’s so good to hear your voice.”_

Noora understood the sentiment. “It’s… good to hear from you, too… what’s- what’s going on?”

_“Where are you right now?”_

“I’m at a party—it’s pretty loud in here.” 

_“Oh, if you’re at a party I can call back later. I don’t want to—”_

“No, no, it’s fine! If it’s important…”

_“It’s not that important, Noora. Have fun at your party.”_

“Call me back later!” Noora practically shouted into the receiver before Carmilla could end the call. “… Please?”

_“I will. Ciao.”_

In the span of the conversation, Chris had wedged himself between her and Eva and was just starting to talk with the redhead when Noora hung up. She was too shaken by Carmilla’s call to mind all that much. That is, until she heard what Chris was saying. 

“You’re a bit brainy. That’s hot.”

He seemed to notice Noora had ended her phone call and turned to her. “Are you brainy as well? I can already tell you’re hot, too.”

Noora clenched her jaw and smiled sweetly. “Thanks for the compliment. Eva and I were just going to go dance.”

She grabbed the redhead’s hand from across the lesser Chris’s lap and guided her up before he could say anything. She prayed he wouldn’t follow them into the crowd. 

“Thank you,” Eva breathed in her ear, not letting go of her hand as they maneuvered through the bodies. 

Noora looked back. “For what?” 

Their faces were dangerously close now, the throng of people dancing around them only encouraging the twisting in Noora’s stomach. “For saving me,” Eva replied, glancing down at Noora’s lips for a second too long. She turned back around and pulled Eva into the lobby, free of both Chris and the loud music.

“No problem,” she said, in a more normal tone. “I wasn’t going to sit there and let him throw that fake charming bullshit at you.” 

“He threw it at you, too,” Eva pointed out. She sounded almost… disappointed? Jealous? But Noora wasn’t sure who she was jealous of. 

At that moment, they heard a shriek from across the room and both girls turned toward the commotion. Sana was waving her middle fingers in Ingrid’s face, along with the other girls of her squad. “Fucking bitch!” one of them called as Sana stormed away, past where Noora and Eva stood. 

As Sana stalked by, they glanced at each other, both deciding they’d better get out of there with a single eyebrow raise. Noora tucked away the weird feeling she got at seeing Vilde with William outside, determined to bring it up later. 

 

~<:>~

 

The second she got home, Noora called Carmilla. The phone rang three times before the other girl picked up. 

_“Noora?”_

“Carmilla! What’s going on?”

_“Oh, Noora, you don’t have to be concerned. How was the party?”_

Noora gripped the phone tighter, turning to pace in the kitchen. “It was fine. Just—what’s going on, Carmilla? Why did you call me?”

It was quiet on the other end. Carmilla let out a sigh. _“So I’m not allowed to call you unless there’s something wrong?”_

“No, that’s not it.” Noora wished that wasn’t it. “We just haven’t… I mean, come on, Carmilla, we haven’t talked in months.”

When she was met with more silence she was afraid she’d said something wrong again, but Carmilla finally spoke. _“Yeah, okay, that’s fair. I thought I would let you cool off after everything before I called but it looks like you’re still angry.”_

“That’s not—” Noora pressed a hand to her forehead. “That’s not true.” 

_“If you don’t want to talk to me—”_

“Carmilla!”

The other girl shut up at that, allowing Noora room to speak. “I want to talk with you. If that’s the reason you called, I’m more than happy to catch up.” 

While Carmilla was thinking of a reply, Eskild crept into the kitchen, wearing nothing but boxer shorts. _“I’m happy to hear that, Noora,”_ Carmilla said as Eskild mouthed her name, pointing at the phone in Noora’s hand. 

Noora waved him off, turning around and plugging one ear. _“You have no idea how sorry I am for everything that I said. I’m so, so sorry Noora. I’ve been thinking about it since the night you left and I just—you didn’t deserve to hear that after everything.”_

“Carmilla,” Noora said gently. “It’s okay. I’m not angry with you.” She paused, letting the other girl take a breath. “I hope we can still be friends?”

She heard Carmilla’s distinct sigh of relief. _“Of course we can still be friends. If that’s okay with you.”_

“Of course it’s okay with me.” Noora smiled as Eskild tapped her on the shoulder. When she turned around, he gave her a big thumbs up, eyebrows raised in question. She flipped him off without a second thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TOLD YOU YOU WEREN'T READY :) Things are starting to change now :)))


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Noora and Eva get to really connect in this one! Get ready.

Noora saw Eva for tutoring the following Monday between periods. The blonde walked in practically glowing after what felt like a weekend-long therapy session with Carmilla. She had told her old friend about everything, including her crush on Eva, and had gotten Carmilla’s scoop in return. Noora could finally say that she’d gotten everything off of her chest, and it was good that she had someone to talk to again. Besides fucking Eskild. 

Eva, on the other hand, looked downright miserable. She barely looked up as Noora approached, managing a soft, “Hi.” 

“Hi,” Noora replied, furrowing her brows as she sat down. “What’s up?”

Eva shrugged and shook her head. “Nothing. Probably nothing. I’m probably making a huge deal out of it anyway.”

Noora turned her lips down in consideration. “If you tell me what happened, I can tell you if you’re making a big deal out of it.” 

The redhead finally looked directly at her, rubbed her lips together, and sighed, looking away again. “It’s my boyfriend, Jonas.” 

Noora pulled a face at the mention, smoothing it over quickly before Eva could notice. “We were supposed to have dinner with my mom on Friday and…” She rolled her shoulders. “As you know, I blew him off. To go to the Penetrator party.” 

In fact, Noora had not known Eva was blowing off her boyfriend to come hang out with her—them, she corrected. Interesting, all the same. 

“It was kind of a big deal, because he hasn’t met my mom yet. Or…” Eva shook her head. “Yeah she doesn’t know we’re dating. So then when I went to his house to talk to him about it, to apologize, he just said everything was fine.”

“Really?” Noora raised her eyebrows. “He’s not pissed?” 

Eva shrugs. “He claims he’s not pissed, but I think there’s something wrong when he doesn’t want to talk about it.” 

“Well, isn’t he just pissed because he thought you didn’t want him to meet your mom, then?” Noora mused. “If you didn’t tell him why you blew him off. He probably thinks you’re embarrassed of him.”

Eva looked surprised. “You think so?”

“Yeah,” Noora said it like it was obvious, but she backtracked to try and make Eva feel better. “Just let him meet your mom, then.” When Eva looked hesitant, Noora was confused. “What’s the problem?”

Just as Eva was about to open up, Vilde sat down in front of them. 

“Chris has to tell Sana that she can’t be on our bus any longer.”

Noora sucked in a breath at the intrusion, but forced Vilde’s bad timing to the back of her mind. “Why?” 

Vilde scoffed, waving her hands. “Hello?! She nearly ruined our entire social status and I had to fix it! I had to explain to the penetrator guys that we don’t usually create a lot of drama. It’s really important what they think of us.” 

Noora felt a pang of sympathy for Vilde. “But… maybe it wasn’t Sana’s fault?”

“Have you met Sana? She’s incredibly rude!” Vilde argued, and Noora couldn’t really disagree. From the other side of the table, Eva joined in. 

“Sara and Ingrid aren’t the nicest people in the world,” the redhead offered, surprising both of the blondes. Maybe one more than the other. 

“I know Sara and Ingrid really well,” Vilde said defensively. “And they’re not girls who start drama.” 

Eva looked at Noora, both thinking back to the night they’d met. “Really…” Eva said under her breath. Noora couldn’t help wondering what was behind all that. 

Vilde’s phone chimed. She looked down at it, then excitedly back up at them. “William!”

Noora rolled her eyes internally, the funny feeling back in her stomach. 

“What’s up with you two?” Eva asked.

“I think we’ll sleep together,” Vilde replied casually.

Once again, Eva and Noora shared a knowing look. “Okay…” Eva laughed. 

“Vilde, don’t you think you should get to know him a little better first?” Noora pointed out, concerned. 

Vilde shrugged, beaming. “Why? He’s totally perfect. I want my first time to be with the most handsome, coolest ’97 guy rather than someone basic. You’ll remember your first time the rest of your life!”

“Yes, and it should be something special between people that like each other, not something to do with the coolest guy in school,” Noora interjected. 

“I do like him, and he likes me!” Vilde protested, holding up her phone. “He’s been texting me non-stop since we kissed.” 

She lowered her voice. “I’ve also heard that William is really, really good in bed, and that you usually don’t get an orgasm the first time, but with William, you do. I’ve heard about five different girls that got an orgasm.”

Noora gave up. “Okay…” she repeated Eva, raising her hands. 

Vilde looked hurt. “Hello?! I’m doing this for you guys, too! This will guarantee we’ll get into a party on their bus!”

“Vilde?!” Noora exclaimed before she could stop herself. “Having sex with someone is something you do for yourself, not for other people!”

“I know that,” Vilde argued. “I’m just saying you guys will get something out of it, too.”

Noora knew. She fucking _knew_ that Vilde’s line of thinking was harmful and unhealthy and self-deprecating, but she was so headstrong it seemed impossible to try and change her mind. Noora would work at it, though. She had to. She couldn’t let Vilde end up like her. 

“There’s something else I was wondering.” Vilde’s voice cut through her thoughts. She looked embarrassed. “Can I borrow the pill from you guys?”

Noora held back her smile, trying to be as understanding as possible. “You can’t borrow the pill.”

“Not one pill,” Vilde hastily corrected. “I thought for a week or something. Do you have it?”

“I don’t have it,” Noora said.

“Me neither,” Eva added.

Vilde frowned. “Don’t you sleep with your boyfriend?”

“I have a NuvaRing,” Eva explained. “And you don’t want to borrow that one.” 

Her face was adorable, but Noora worried about her tone. Sharing sex objects was gross, undeniably, but Noora couldn’t help wondering if she meant specifically sharing between two girls was gross? Vagina touching vagina? Was it homophobic? 

Noora was probably overreacting. She tended to do that where Eva was concerned.

“Where did you get it?” Vilde was asking.

“The doctor.”

“So much stress! Can’t you order it online or something?”

“I don’t know,” Eva shrugged.

“Just go to the school doctor,” Noora said kindly.

Vilde worried her lip. “Can you come with me?”

Noora was about to ask why, but the look on Vilde’s face stopped her. She softened. “Of course we can come, Vilde.” 

“Yeah, we’ll be your back-up,” Eva said, grinning. It was the first time Eva had really smiled since the start, and Noora suspected it had something to do with the conversation topic veering away from her boyfriend—Jonas, she remembered. It might have been good for Eva to hang out with them instead of him if he was making her sad.

And Noora didn’t like to pry into other people’s lives. But she definitely didn’t want Eva to be with someone that was constantly making her feel down. 

 

~<:>~

 

Eva’s mother was home for a few days, so their after-school study session was cancelled on Wednesday. Not that Noora was upset about this. They had plenty of time between periods to work together. 

She certainly wasn’t upset about Eva ghosting her texts and replying to the group chat that she was hanging out with Jonas, as they seemed to have resolved their conflict. 

And when Eva told her they should meet at the doctor’s she certainly wasn’t upset about the fact that while coming down the stairs she could see Eva sucking face with her boyfriend rather than waiting with Vilde, who was clearly stressed about their being at the doctor’s in the first place—

Noora tamped down her inner frustration as much as she could and moved to interrupt the lovebirds. “Hi!” she said brightly.

The two stopped kissing at the intrusion, faces blank. “So. I see you’ve become friends again,” Noora jabbed, feeling only a smidge guilty. 

Jonas looked annoyed, where Eva looked, almost—guilty herself? Noora tucked that away, more than a little pleased with herself. “Uhm… “ Eva started. “This is Noora. I’ve told you about Noora.” 

She’d told him about her? The confusion and warmth inside Noora’s chest only grew. “Noora,” she said, holding a hand out to Jonas. 

“Hello,” he said, taking it. “Jonas.”

Noora turned back to Eva, content to ignore him. “We have an appointment at the school doctor’s,” she reminded the redhead, as if they hadn’t already talked about it. 

Eva still looked slightly embarrassed, but she kept her cool. “Yeah, but where’s Vilde?”

“Vilde’s already there,” Noora answered. _Like you should be._

“What’s going on at the doctor’s?” Jonas asked. 

Before Eva could reply, Noora cut in. “We’re helping a friend get laid.”

Jonas looked both confused and mortified, while Eva shot Noora an amused look. It made Noora feel better about being a dick to him, like they were both teasing him. 

“Okay, good luck with that,” Jonas offered.

“Thanks!” Noora said in her most sarcastic tone. 

As she moved to go down the stairs, she caught Eva’s smile one more time, but there was something else in her eyes that Noora couldn’t quite place. It gave her a weird sense of hope, which almost crumbled when she went back in to kiss her boyfriend, but it was far from gone. 

 

~<:>~

 

Noora was so caught up feeling guilty about liking Eva, positive that she might have a chance, happy about her friendship with Carmilla, and stressed about keeping up with school that she almost forgot to be concerned about Vilde going out with William. 

She did end up texting the group chat that they should get together beforehand, and she knew Vilde would need the support. She was starting to see through that bright façade that Vilde was always putting up, especially considering how, when she looked past the naivete, Vilde reminded Noora of herself. 

It wasn’t hard to convince the other girls to get together, though Sana opted out and Eva was concerned about them being at hers because Jonas was finally coming over for dinner. Noora had no ulterior motive; all other places were off-limits that Friday. 

She couldn’t say she wasn’t glad that them being there might throw a wrench in Eva’s plans, but she was trying not to sabotage the poor girl’s relationship. She only wanted to hurt Jonas, not Eva. And even that was a little thin. 

Despite all this internal conflict, Noora showed up by Eva’s window earlier than they’d planned. Eva let her in anyway, and Noora couldn’t help noticing how lovely she looked as she jumped less-than-gracefully from the sill. Though Eva was clearly nervous if she was already dressed for the dinner. Noora could tell by the way her eyes were glued to her phone.

She shifted, dropping some of her stuff onto the floor. Eva was lost to the world. “Hey, you,” Noora said, attempting to distract her. 

Eva looked up from her phone and smiled distantly. “Hi! Sorry, I’m just— texting Jonas.” 

Noora nodded, easing her hands into her pockets. Eva was still staring at her, lips parted. It was strange; she almost looked—flustered? Noora raised her eyebrows.

“That- that’s a nice sweater,” Eva stammered. 

Noora looked down. “Oh, thanks!” She grinned up at Eva. “You look gorgeous.”

Eva blushed. None of this was out of character for her, but Noora was getting some serious vibes and she wasn’t sure what to make of them. She hoped the others were coming soon so she wouldn’t do anything she’d regret.

She decided to sit on the bed while Eva paced around the room worriedly. “Nervous?” Noora asked.

Eva gave one of her sarcastic smiles. “Could you tell?”

Noora laughed lightly. “It makes sense. You said Jonas meeting your mom was a big deal.” Again, she didn’t want to pry. “Does she not like him?”

Eva stopped in her tracks, turning to face Noora with her lips pressed together in thought— or what looked more like hesitation. “No, no,” Eva said finally. “She likes him a lot actually.”

Noora wished she would sit down with her so this didn’t feel so awkward. “So, she just wouldn’t approve of you dating? What, are you cousins or something?”

The pause that followed made Noora dread that her joke was true, but then Eva laughed—loudly and brighter than Noora had heard in a while. 

“That’s a good point!” Eva brought a hand to her mouth. “Oh, god, no. It could be so much worse.”

“I take it you’re… _not_ cousins?” Noora prodded, amused. 

“No, no, no.” Eva finally sat down. “We’re not cousins.” She looked at Noora with a fondness in her eyes that sent butterflies through the blonde’s nervous system. “He was just dating someone else when my mom knew him.”

Noora was caught off guard by the confession. She could hardly believe Eva trusted her enough to say something like that, and the feeling of giddiness that spread through her she just barely managed to tamp down. 

Chris and Vilde knocked on the window a few seconds later, breaking the moment, but it had happened. And though Noora was probably more confused than she had been thus far, she felt closer to Eva, and that made her heart soar. 

Fuck, she was ridiculous.

“Honestly now, how painful is it?” Vilde asked, getting drunk with all the wine Chris was pouring into her glass.

“I don’t remember anything from my first time,” the brunette said casually, still pouring. “Just drink; you won’t feel anything.” 

Noora watched the two with skeptical eyes. “Do you want to be so drunk that you don’t remember anything?” she asked Vilde.

The other blonde shrugged, turning to Eva. “Were you drunk your first time?”

The redhead looked much calmer than she had before; she was sitting down with them, phone in her lap. “Me? No.” 

Vilde held out her arm towards Eva. “Pinch my arm, how much does it hurt?”

Eva raised her eyebrows at Noora specifically, asking if Vilde was serious. Noora raised hers back and Eva pinched Vilde playfully.

“Ow!” Vilde shrieked, pulling away. “Seriously?”

“It doesn’t resemble _pinching_ ,” Eva said laughing. 

Noora couldn’t help beaming at the sight. She was glad Eva was feeling better. “If you just relax,” she said to Vilde. “It won’t hurt.”

Vilde frowned. “How do you know? You haven’t had sex!”

The room felt a little quiet after that comment, despite the muffled music playing from Chris’s phone. 

Eva rubbed her lips together, and Noora could tell she was looking at her even though Noora’s gaze was on Vilde. She felt like shouting at the blonde girl for making the situation even more uncomfortable, but she remembered her promise to see through Vilde’s persona.

“Vilde, I have had sex,” she said softly. “You can’t make assumptions about people like that.”

Vilde actually looked admonished. “Oh, sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to assume. You just seemed like you wouldn’t be into that sort of thing.”

“What ‘sort of thing’, Vilde?”

“Just—sex. And…” Vilde looked around the room as if asking for confirmation. “And guys,” she finished, quieter.

Noora looked for Eva’s gaze first, and she found it, focused on her. It almost took all her breath away, though she still had some left for Vilde. Her cheeks were probably red, but she didn’t care. That much.

“Vilde—” she started.

“You’ve spoken against hooking up at parties and things!” Vilde exclaimed. “And you’re a feminist! What was I supposed to think?”

There was a lot Noora could say to that. She chose her words carefully, specifically not looking at Eva this time. “Vilde, you can think whatever you like. But you have to know that your assumptions about people can always be wrong! You have to give people the benefit of the doubt and not give in to stereotypes.” 

Vilde looked at her with doe eyes, taking in every word. Noora continued. “Just because I don’t condone casual sex or hooking up doesn’t mean I don’t condone sexual stuff in general. And I’m perfectly fine with other people doing whatever and whoever they like.” 

She didn’t want to upset Vilde too much by revealing her own preferences. “As long as it’s healthy,” she finished. “Which is why I’m concerned about you and William.”

“Speaking of William,” Eva joined in (Noora’s stomach flipped at her voice). “When is he getting here?”

“He said he would be here at seven,” Vilde replied.

“It’s ten to eight!” Eva said, standing. “Can’t you call him?”

Vilde shook her head. “I don’t want him to think I’m desperate for dick!”

“But what if he doesn’t send a message?” Eva countered, crossing her arms. Noora licked her lips inadvertently. She almost didn’t hear Vilde’s quiet confession:

“Then I would be a bit relieved.”

All gazes turned to the blonde girl, who looked confused. “This is what I’m saying,” Noora said. “Vilde, you don’t have to have sex with him if you don’t want to.” 

“I want to!” Noora was unconvinced. “But I just don’t want it to hurt.” 

“Well then you have to relax,” the taller blonde stated, adjusting her position on the bed. “Let’s try this: what about him turns you on?”

“Turns me on?” 

“Yeah, what makes you horny?” 

“Horny!” Vilde said it like it was ridiculous, then shook her head. “Nothing. I don’t get horny.” 

That made a twisted kind of sense. Still, Noora was skeptical. “You’re never horny?” 

“No? Are you?” 

“Yes!”

Noora cleared her throat, looking away from Eva’s intense eyes. “Yes. And it’s okay if you’re not, but in that case you shouldn’t have sex with William.”

“No, but I find him attractive! He’s so hot!” Vilde persisted.

Noora let out a breath, tongue tucked between her lips. “Okay, then. We’ll make you horny. Lie back.”

Vilde’s pupils dilated. 

For a second, Noora thought she’d made it up, but she knew she could see perfectly five feet in front of her. “I’m not doing some kind of lesbian thing.” Vilde’s voice was loud and strangled, like it was caught in her throat but she was forcing it out.

Noora wasn’t quite sure what to say at first; she was distracted by all the new information flooding her brain. “Vilde, it’s not some lesbian thing,” she said finally. “I’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortable that I like girls, but I would never make a move on you without your consent.”

All eyes were now on Noora, and she hoped the flush in her cheeks had died down some (she could feel that it hadn’t). Vilde looked like she’d just seen some blinding light, Chris was obviously tense under the possibility of conflict, and Eva…

Eva was looking down at her lap, biting her lip. Noora couldn’t tell if she was focused on their conversation or her phone. It made her heart twinge just a bit. 

“So… you are a lesbian?” Vilde said in awe.

Noora rolled her eyes. “I like girls, Vilde. That doesn’t make me a lesbian. Now, if you want to have sex with William you have to be attracted to him, and for that you have to be either drunk or horny and we want the latter so lie back.” 

Vilde did, though carefully, eyeing Noora like she would strike at any minute. “Close your eyes,” Noora instructed. “I’m not going to touch you.” 

Vilde did that, too, eventually. “Now imagine you and William standing in the bedroom.” Noora paused. “Are you imagining it?” 

“Yes.”

“What’s happening?”

“What’s _happening_?” 

“Yes, describe it.”

“We’re standing in the bedroom,” Vilde started. “I’m wearing a white dress. It’s almost the same as that Stella McCartney dress with lace at the bottom. Except it doesn’t have lace at the bottom. I have my hair down. No! I’m wearing it up. But it’s a bit loose so my hair falls down some. I’m wearing light pink lipstick—not the lightest from Mac but the one that’s kind of medium…”

Noora exchanged a look with Chris, then glanced over at Eva, who looked away quickly, but Noora caught her eye for a split second, and that told her something. 

Vilde rolled back onto her stomach. “This actually works!”

“Really?” 

“I think so.”

“You get horny by talking about…” Noora realized what it meant again and stopped herself. “Clothes and make-up?”

“Yes!” Vilde beamed.

Noora was convinced now. She didn’t have much evidence that Vilde didn’t like boys, but she had enough that there was something non-heteronormative about her. If she were Eskild, she’d be excited to try and fish it out, but Noora knew. She knew Vilde wouldn’t say anything until she was ready. 

“People get horny from different things,” Chris decided to contribute. “I was watching a documentary about a whole village that got horny from donkeys.”

“Eva?” They heard the call from upstairs. 

“I’m coming!” Eva called back. She turned to them, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “Okay, you guys either leave now or call William.”

“We can’t just go!” Vilde argued.

“We can wait outside, Vilde!” Noora persuaded.

“It’s cold!” Chris protested.

“It’s not that cold!” Eva chided. 

“Okay, we’re going,” Noora decided for them. “Eva, go. Don’t worry about us.” 

The redhead nodded at Noora, biting her lip and looking at Noora’s before she turned to head upstairs. 

Fuck, Noora had a lot of information to analyze tonight. 

“Come on, girls,” she said. “I’ll hoist you up through the window.”

 

~<:>~

 

Eva texted before Noora had a chance to analyze anything. Apparently Jonas hadn’t shown up and her mom was angrier than ever. 

_I need a place to go. Can I crash at yours?_

Noora bit her lip as she looked at the text. Normally she would say no, but Eskild was coincidentally out tonight and Linn slept like the dead. And, more importantly, Eva needed her right now. 

_Sure_ , she texted back. _Here’s the address. Can you get here ok?_

_Yeah, I’ll be fine. Don’t worry. Be there in ten._

Noora waited by the door until she saw Eva approaching through the window. The second the redhead stepped through the threshold, Noora was caught in a hug. She hugged back, nervous about the open door, but Eva let go in time for her to close it. 

“Thank you so much,” Eva said. “You have no idea how fucking angry I am right now.”

“Just,” Noora warned, looking over at Linn’s door. “Just keep it down a little? My roommate’s asleep.”

“Oh, yeah, sorry.” Eva flushed. 

“It’s okay, let’s just go to my room, yeah?”

Once Noora’s door was closed behind them, Eva started in. “I can’t fucking believe he didn’t show up. After I skipped out on him last week? And I thought things were going well but then he bails on me?”

She was pacing, dropping her coat and bag and shoes around the room as she ranted. “I mean, what the fuck? I just don’t understand what his problem is. Like, he’s been so secretive recently and I’m so worried but he keeps saying it’s nothing—but I heard Ingrid on the other line I just fucking—I know it was her. Why would he be with her? Other than: he’s cheating on me!”

Noora raised her hand carefully from where she was sitting on the bed. “Ingrid from the bar?”

Eva paused in her steps, nodding with frustration. “Yes, Ingrid from the bar.”

“Why would he cheat on you with her? She seemed like a bitch.” 

Noora thought for a moment that was too far, but Eva clearly thought the same, and was clearly in the mood to spill. She sighed heavily, hands on her hips. “Because they used to date.”

Noora gaped. “So that’s why…”

“Yes, that’s how my mom knows Jonas. He and Ingrid dated.”

“But what was between you and Ingrid?” Noora asked hesitantly. 

Eva’s brows were furrowed. She looked exhausted, like the days had been weighing on her. Noora understood that feeling, probably better than anyone. She really wished she could be there for Eva without these stupid feelings getting in the way. 

“Ingrid and I were best friends,” Eva started. “Since middle school. I moved here from Bergen and everyone made fun of the way I talked but she was there for me. She was also, like, insanely popular.” 

Noora, again, wished Eva would sit down. She didn’t want to interrupt the moment by suggesting it, so she listened intently. 

“I had such a thing for her. I practically worshipped her, like everyone else in the school did. But… she really was my friend. She was there for me, and she made me feel special.” Eva’s gaze started to fog. “And then I went and stole her boyfriend.” 

“Stole?” Noora said before she could stop herself.

“Yeah,” Eva confirmed, mouth set in a grim line. “Jonas and I… got together before he and Ingrid broke up. We were the _reason_ they broke up.”

She paused, as though waiting for Noora to process this. “I know it’s bad. I know I’m only getting what I deserve now if he’s cheating with her—”

“No, Eva,” Noora interrupted. “Come on, don’t say that.”

“It’s true!” Eva protested. She was crying a little now and every tear broke something in Noora’s sternum. “It’s karma. Of course such a shitty thing would come back and haunt me.”

Noora got up, wrapping Eva into a hug. “Hey,” she soothed. “It’s okay. You have the right to feel shitty about this.” She pulled back. “But not about yourself.” She suddenly felt braver than she ever had before. “You want to know something?” 

When Eva nodded, Noora guided her down onto the bed so they could sit more comfortably. Noora pushed some of the hair back from Eva’s face instinctively, brushed a tear with her thumb, prompting Eva to do the same. 

As Eva hastily finished wiping the tears from her face Noora bit her lip, fighting any urge she had right then to kiss the redhead. Now was _literally_ the worst possible fucking time. 

“Okay,” Noora started. “You want to know the reason I moved to Madrid? It wasn’t anything good.” Eva stared at her intently. Noora sighed, still struggling to talk about it. This hadn’t been her plan for one of the first deep conversations between them to go. But this was it, and she had to roll with it. 

“In eighth grade, there was this boy I liked,” Noora began again. “Who was really hot and popular and out of all the girls in school, he picked me to be his girlfriend. I was so, so happy, but we only dated for about one month before we had sex and he dumped me. The day after.”

Eva let out a small sound of shock and sympathy. “It was shitty,” Noora said. “And I thought it was my fault, that he didn’t want me, so I started behaving differently. I tried to act how he wanted me to be, so he would want me back. I went to lots of parties, hooked up with lots of people, drank tons of alcohol, until I blacked out sometimes. A lot of times, actually.”

Noora’s gaze was focused on her lap, but she felt Eva listening beside her. “I stopped… stopped eating, too. So I could be thinner and prettier for him. But nothing worked, and it just got me into more trouble, including… including the hospital for both alcohol poisoning and anorexia.”

She had to take a breath. She hadn’t shared all that with anyone. Not even Eskild. Eva put a hand on Noora’s arm, stroking it gently, as though coaxing her to continue. Noora felt such a warm glow from the redhead’s presence; no pressure, only comfort. 

“When I got out of the hospital, I had missed part of the school year. There was a program in Madrid I could take to catch me up, and I could stay there over the summer so… I did. I got better, made friends there.” She offered Eva a small smile. 

“I guess the point I’m trying to make is… we all do shitty things, and we think it’s because of other people, but it’s not. It’s always personal—it’s stuff that affects us. We self-sabotage and break each other’s hearts because we’re all just after our own happiness.”

Eva looked somber. Noora jostled her a bit, trying to get her to smile. “And it gets better. Trust me, I’m living proof.”

Eva did smile, for her. At least that’s what it felt like. “Yeah,” she said. “Fucking hell, Noora. You’re really strong.” 

The butterflies chose that moment to return, fueled by Eva’s compliment. “Thanks. You know you’re strong as well.”

Eva snorted. “How? It really doesn’t fucking feel like it.”

“It never does,” Noora agreed pensively. 

“But it wasn’t your fault?” Eva said. “I chose to cheat and lie and ruin my friendship. You didn’t choose any of what happened to you.”

“I chose to fall for society’s bullshit,” Noora countered bluntly. “I chose to give in. Now I’m choosing not to, every day of my life.”

She moved closer to Eva, resting a hand on the bed by hers. “I was berated by shame and self-hatred, you were berated by your heart. Those are both pretty strong motivators for us to act out in ways we’re not proud of. That doesn’t mean we’re messes, or fuck-ups, or broken. We get past it, and we build ourselves up, and we take second chances whenever they’re offered.”

Their fingertips were almost touching, and Eva’s eyes were doing that owl-thing. “Wow, Noora,” she said. “Are you some kind of motivational speaker?”

Noora laughed, pulling away just a bit. “No, but I’m trying to lift you up!”

“It’s working,” Eva assured her. 

They fell quiet for a few beats. Eva ran a hand through her hair, fiddling with the ends like she was nervous. Noora couldn’t get enough of the sight, Eva biting her lip as well. _Fucking hell she needed to stop._

“Thank you,” the redhead broke the pause. “For letting me stay here, and for talking with me. I know we kind of just became friends, but… I really trust you, Noora.” 

“Awww,” Noora grinned, earning an embarrassed eye roll from Eva. “No, but I trust you, too. That means a lot to me, Eva. Thanks for listening to my… tragic backstory as well.”

Eva laughed (!) and shook her head. “So tragic.”

Noora stared at her for longer than she normally would have allowed, because she wanted to make sure she was okay, and she was perfectly entitled to looking at her, damnit. Eva stared back, only breaking it to look over at a text from Carmilla that popped up on Noora’s phone. 

“Shit, it’s late,” Eva commented. 

“Yeah, we should probably get to bed,” Noora conceded. “Though it is Friday…”

“We could lighten the mood,” Eva suggested, sitting back. “Do you want to watch Fresh Prince with me?”

Noora raised her eyebrows. “Do I want to watch what?”

“Holy shit, you’ve never seen Fresh Prince?!” Eva gasped adorably. “We have to watch it, then! Do you have a laptop? We can watch it on YouTube.” She was already setting up the bed pillows so that they could lie back. 

“Yeah, okay, okay!” Noora laughed, going to get her laptop. 

They watched a few episodes before Eva began to fall asleep. The show wasn’t something Noora would have watched on her own, but she found it funny. Eva translated some parts for her, though she understood most of the English. 

Noora mostly loved watching how much Eva loved it, her reactions, her nose crinkle. Her laugh was something Noora doubted she would ever get over.

When Eva’s head started slipping onto Noora’s shoulder, she paused the video and closed the laptop. Eva wasn’t really under yet, so she blinked her eyes back open and yawned.

“Sorry, was I falling asleep on you?”

“Yes, actually,” Noora replied. “Should we stop now and head to bed?”

“Yes, please,” Eva sang tiredly. 

Noora slowly moved off the bed and put the laptop back on her chair. She realized as she was turning around that Eva had nowhere to actually sleep. “Shit,” she said out loud. 

“What?”

“No, I just need to get you some bedding. I’m sorry the floor’s not so comfortable.”

“I can just sleep here?” Eva slurred, patting the bed she was currently lounging on. Noora’s voice caught in her throat. She demanded that her heart stop pounding so hard. 

“Oh, yeah. No problem.” 

She sounded unconvinced to her own ears.

Eva wasn’t paying attention; she was half-asleep already. Noora changed into her pajamas while she could. When she turned to climb into bed, Eva’s eyes were open and looking at her. 

“Um, do you have anything to sleep in?” Noora asked smoothly. She hoped she wasn’t too flushed.

Eva nodded. “I brought some… clothes, they’re in my bag.”

She got up slowly, meandering to the bag and pulling out a shirt and shorts. Noora got under the covers and checked the messages from Carmilla on her phone. 

_Noora!_  
_I have updates for you._  
_Call me tomorrow._

She felt Eva crawl in behind her and reached up to switch off her lamp. In the darkness, Eva uttered a soft, “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” Noora said back, snuggling in, thanking the gods, or Eskild, or whoever she had to pay homage to that this bed was big enough that they didn’t press against one another. 

Eva’s breaths still turned heavy long before Noora’s did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GOD I love them


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you were keeping track, yes this is the one where they finally kiss :)

Noora woke to something tickling her nose. 

There was a pleasant feeling settled in the pit of her stomach as she opened her eyes, which quickly vanished once she realized the position she was in. 

She had one arm draped over Eva’s waist and her nose in the red hair, but worse was her crotch, which was pressed close to Eva’s butt. They might as well have been naked for all the good the few scraps of clothing between them were doing. 

Noora quickly tensed before she noticed that Eva was still asleep. She could always wait for the other girl to wake up and see what she’d do. But Noora wasn’t that sneaky. 

She slowly started to move her arm off of Eva. Before she could get it an inch away from Eva’s skin, the redhead rolled over. Noora squeaked in surprise, jostling the hair on Eva’s forehead. Her arm hovered against Eva’s waist.

She was saved from having to make a decision about getting up when Eva’s eyes peeled open, blinking against the light from the window she was facing. Noora held her breath for a multitude of reasons. 

She watched Eva take note of her surroundings, most specifically Noora’s arm on her waist. There weren’t many ways to misinterpret that, especially since Noora was clearly awake. Fuck, why couldn’t she have fallen for someone single?

Instead of reacting the way Noora was thinking, Eva smiled sleepily. “Do you usually hug things in your sleep?”

Relieved, Noora smiled back. “Yes, actually. I curl up.”

“I do too,” Eva said. “Though Jonas says sometimes I sleep like a starfish.”

The mention of Jonas tore them back to reality. Eva shifted awkwardly and Noora removed her arm. “I’ll just—yeah.” 

She laughed uncomfortably as she got up, cursing herself for being such a fucking idiot. She wasn’t sure when she wasn’t doing that, honestly. 

“You should probably go unless you want to meet my roommates,” Noora said, gathering clothes for the day. 

“Oh,” she heard Eva from the bed. “Yeah, I can go.”

“No, I’m not—kicking you out or anything,” Noora amended. “I just mean… Eskild will be all over you.”

Shit, that sounded weird. Not how she meant it. Eva raised her eyebrows. “All over me?”

“Not like that,” Noora said, tired of her own stupid wording. “He’s gay. He just… really likes interfering in people’s lives. If you know what I mean.” 

Eva nodded, musing. “I’d like to meet him. If you’re not kicking me out.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Noora said, crossing her heart. Eva laughed. Noora knew she’d done something good whenever Eva laughed and it made her so, so scared the way that felt so important to her. She really didn’t know when Eva had become this important to her. 

They got dressed and crept out into the apartment, Noora checking to see if the coast was clear before ushering Eva into the kitchen. 

“What are we having?” the redhead wondered. 

“Can you cook?” Noora asked, opening the fridge. 

“No,” Eva replied. “Well, a little.”

“Good. You can help me then.” Noora set the ingredients down on the counter. “We’ll have… scrambled eggs. And toast. Do you think you can put this in the toaster?”

She handed the bread to Eva, who smirked. “Yeah, I think I can manage that.”

“Can you manage that?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.” Noora waited for her to finish that task. “Now, can you get me a fork? It’s the top drawer over there.” She pointed with one of the eggs. 

“Here?”

“Yes.”

Eva presented the fork proudly to Noora, who took it with a smile. “Thanks.” 

She cracked both eggs and began whipping them together while Eva watched. They were standing pretty close together, leaning against the cabinets. Noora tried to concentrate on making the food, but it was hard with Eva looking at her like that. 

“Milk?”

“Here.”

“Thank you!”

The toast popped just as Noora was pouring the eggs into their pan on the stove top. “I’ll get it,” Eva said. 

“We have butter if you want,” Noora offered. “Jam, cheese…”

“Ooo what kind of jam?”

“It’s in the fridge; you can look.” 

Eva put the milk away while she did, scoring extra points with Noora’s cleanly habits. As if she needed any extra points. 

“It’s apple?”

“Do you like apple?”

“Sure.” Eva pulled it out. “Do you want some, too?”

Noora shook her head. “No, thanks.” 

Eva took care of the toast while Noora sifted the eggs around in the pan. They stood side by side again, hips almost touching. The jam was spread pretty quickly, and Eva turned to look at her when she was finished. She seemed hesitant, but she spoke. 

“I’m sorry if… I made you feel like you had to… tell me what you told me last night.”

Noora stopped, eyeing the redhead carefully. “I just… don’t want you to share stuff you don’t feel comfortable sharing,” Eva continued, twisting the hem of her shirt. “Even with me.”

Noora shook her head, the pleasant glow from this morning back in her gut. “Eva, you didn’t make me share anything I didn’t want to share with you. Really.”

The redhead smiled with relief. “Okay. Good. That’s good.”

The eggs were just about finished, and Noora lifted up the pan. “Shall we eat, then?”

They sat at the table quietly for a few minutes, minus Eva’s comment on how good the eggs were at the beginning. Eva finished and wiped her mouth, looking over to where Noora’s plate was only half-empty. 

It had been like this before. When Carmilla found out about Noora’s eating disorder, she was always watching her plate, looking to see what Noora was or wasn’t eating and when. It was a little infuriating, but Noora was prepared to give Eva more time to process before judging her about it. 

“So,” she said, starting in on her toast. “How are you feeling today?”

Eva twisted her mouth. “I don’t know. Better. Pissed.” She gave a short laugh that sounded bitter and sad. “Confused.”

“Confused, like… you don’t know what to do?” Noora asked, trying very hard not to misread whatever vibes Eva was giving off. 

The redhead shrugged. “Yeah. I mean, what can I do? I know Jonas is lying to me, but he won’t admit it. And he didn’t respond to any of my texts, other than to say _‘Everything’s fine. Stop worrying.’_ " Eva looked on the verge of murder, jaw tight. “As if I could ever just stop worrying about him. Especially when he’s acting like this.” 

Noora put down the piece of toast she was working on and swallowed. “Has he done stuff like this before?”

“Yes. I mean…” Eva trailed off. “Things have been tense between us since the beginning. But recently, like over the past few weeks… actually the past month… he’s been so secretive.”

Noora began to get a sinking feeling in her chest as Eva continued. “It’s like: I don’t have any proof that he’s lying to me, it’s just this feeling I have. This… anxiety? And whenever I try to explain it to him, he treats me like I’m crazy.”

Noora bit her lip, not meeting Eva’s gaze as she collected her thoughts. She knew exactly what that felt like. Even though it had been for a short while, Alexander had treated Noora the same way, right up until he dumped her. 

“Look, Eva,” she said finally. “It sounds like you’ve given him plenty of chances to explain himself. Some people have a hard time telling the truth, either because they’re afraid it will hurt someone, or that they themselves will look bad.”

She paused, examining Eva’s face. The redhead was watching her intently, lips parted. 

“I think you should confront him,” Noora said. “Not anyone else, just him, and hear his side of the story first. If it still sounds like a lie, I’m more than happy to help you go after Ingrid.” 

Eva smiled at that. Noora couldn’t help quirking her lips up as well. “Although you don’t have to take my advice. But you also don’t have to do this alone.” Bravely, she reached her hand across and rested it on Eva’s forearm. “Okay?”

Slowly, Eva nodded. “Okay.”

Their gazes were locked for what felt like an eternity, and Noora felt like the man from the Tell-Tale Heart, scared to death that the sound of her own heart pumping would give her away. She had absolutely no fucking idea what Eva was thinking, feeling, wondering, and it both infuriated and intrigued her. 

She was saved from finding out by none other than Eskild, who came waltzing in through the kitchen entryway. “Good MORNING!!!!” he shouted, undoubtedly disturbing Linn from the other side of the apartment. 

Noora smiled. Eskild was always enthusiastic the morning after getting laid, hangover or not. For once, she was actually grateful that she and Eva were interrupted. 

“Hi,” Noora greeted. “How are you feeling?”

Eskild sucked back his newborn glass of orange juice before responding. “Like a pistol-whipping dominatrix who just got her head smashed in with symbols,” he responded casually. “You know. It hurts, but at least it was a fucking parade.” 

Noora nodded, turning her smirk towards Eva, who also looked amused. “Who’s this?” Eskild asked, raising the glass to his lips again.

And like that, Noora remembered why she hadn’t told Eskild about Eva. She wasn’t going to be able to explain her blush away, or deny that Eva had stayed over. Eskild was going to fucking kill her. 

“Ehm, Eskild, this is Eva. My friend,” Noora said. “Eva, this is Eskild.” 

“A friend?” Eskild shook Eva’s hand tentatively. “I didn’t know you had friends, Noora.”

“Eskild, yes you did.” 

“I didn’t know you had such _pretty_ friends, Noora,” Eskild corrected, looking her right in the eyes while taking a long drink. 

Busted. Fuck her life.

“Well, I think Eva has to go soon, but thanks for hitting on her within the first thirty seconds. Really classy Eskild,” Noora forced out, having a bit of fun teasing him. 

Eskild scoffed. “Yes. I’m such a fucking predator.” He adjusted his kimono indignantly. “You just don’t want her to stay and figure out how much cooler I am than you.”

Eva laughed at that, but Noora was still annoyed. “How much colder you mean? Because you have no heart?” 

“You take that back. That’s Linn talking, and it’s her who doesn’t have one.”

“No.” Noora grinned. “I won’t take it back.”

Eskild set his glass down, hand on one hip. “Am I going to have to squeeze it out of you?”

Noora shook her head, curling against her chair. “No.”

“Really?”

“No. No no no, Eskild!!”

But he had already picked her up, bear hugging her until she pretended to apologize. Eva was smiling through the whole thing, and when Noora was free of Eskild’s clutches and could finally look at her properly, the whole world washed away. 

Eva’s smile, the look in her eyes, knocked Noora’s breath. It was a look no one had ever given her before, but she’d seen it in movies everywhere. She’d seen that look. It was gone in a second, but she’d seen it. She was more fucking confused than ever. 

“Come on, Eva,” Eskild was saying. “Stay. Tell me about yourself.”

Eva smiled even wider, raising her hands as she stood up. “I really do have to go. My mom texted wondering where I am.” She stopped in front of Eskild. “Another time, maybe.”

“Maybe, she says.” Eskild waggled his eyebrows. “Do I have to hug you, too?”

“No!” Eva and Noora said at the same time, Eva shrinking in on herself and Noora slapping Eskild’s arms down. 

“Okay! No bear hug, promise, but what about a one-armed side hug? Hmm?” Eskild sauntered closer. “A weird stranger hug?”

“Yeah, okay,” Eva nodded, still smiling. 

“Okay? There we go.” Noora watched with her arms crossed. “Thank you, Eva, that meant so much to me.”

“I’m sure,” Noora interjected, pursing her lips. Eskild stuck out his tongue at her. 

Noora followed Eva into the bedroom and made sure she had all her things. Noora cursed how nervous she was every single time they were alone, but they had just shared an awkward arm-touch and a lot of intimacy last night—

Noora shook her head, banishing the thoughts. “Are you sure you want to go?”

“Oh, I don’t want to,” Eva snorted. “But I have to face my mom sooner or later.” She paused, bending down to stuff the last shirt into the bag. “And Jonas.”

Noora bit her lip, shifting her weight. “Call me, or… text me, when you’ve spoken to him, okay? And I meant what I said; I’ll go up against Ingrid with you.”

“I know.” Eva turned to face her. “You’ve done it before.”

There was space enough where Eva only had to step forward once, and Noora met her in the middle, wrapping the redhead in a hug. It was weird, because they were alone, because there was no one to stop them from embracing like this. Taking comfort in body pressed against body, a consolation of friendship. 

But when Noora pulled back, she saw how hungry Eva looked and it was no surprise to her, as the look vanished just as quickly as every other speculative look she’d seen from Eva in the past—twenty-four hours? Noora despised nuance. 

She walked Eva to the door. “Bye, then.”

Eva tucked her hat down over her head. The scarf and her smile made her cheeks shine. “Bye. Thank you so much, again, for letting me stay here.”

“Always.” Noora bit her lip, kicking herself. She’d meant to say ‘any time’ but she had to make it weird. 

Eva’s gaze swiveled over her left shoulder. “Bye, Eskild!”

Noora turned to see him standing in the doorframe. He waved cutely. “Bye, Eva!”

Eva’s eyes met Noora’s one last time, with one last, confusing spark in them, and then she was gone. 

The second the door closed, Eskild was on her. “What the fuck, Noora?! She’s _gorgeous_ , holy fuck!”

“Eskild! There is nothing going on,” Noora explained calmly. 

“Not yet, you mean. Did you see the way she was looking at you?” Noora gave him her signature look of disapproval and he balked. “No, of course, not, you wouldn’t have. Only I could see it. She’s _into_ you, girl!”

“She has a boyfriend,” Noora revealed before he could go any further. “And she can _probably still hear us._ ”

“What does it matter?” Eskild waved his hand dismissively. “She knows she’s into you. And if she wasn’t sure, now she is. Curtesy of your guru, Eskild.”

Noora rolled her eyes so hard she was sure they would fall out. “Please just drop it, Eskild,” she sighed, pushing past him to get back to her room. 

“Come on, Noora!” Eskild called after her. “I’m not letting you throw this away!”

Noora was still close enough to her Linn’s door click open. “Can you two fucking shut up?”

 

~<:>~

 

Noora called Carmilla once she’d taken care of her homework. The phone rang half of one time before the other girl picked up. 

_“Noora? Can we chat over Face Time?”_

“Of course, sure.”

Carmilla’s dark curls popped up on Noora’s computer screen and she blew the blonde a kiss automatically. _“Lovely to see you again!”_

“Lovely to see you, too,” Noora smiled. “Give me updates, then.”

 _“Okay,”_ Carmilla started, leaning back to pull her feet up onto her chair. _“So, there’s this girl.”_

“Oh?” Noora said knowingly. 

_“Nothing has happened between us yet, but I know she’s gay because she was at the GSA meeting and when we went around introducing ourselves, she looked right at me and said ‘I’m Blake. She/her pronouns. Girls are hot.’ "_

That was one way to do it. Noora nodded proudly. “That seems pretty clear.”

 _“That’s what I thought! And I know she’s single, too, because we chatted a bit afterwards. Noora, she’s so hot! I think we’ll get together.”_

Noora smiled again. “That’s so great, Carmilla. If you get a picture of her, send it to me.”

 _“I will.”_ Carmilla winked. _“So, how is it going with your ginger bitch?”_

“Don’t call her a bitch,” Noora said immediately, frowning. Carmilla laughed. 

_“Wow. You must really like her.”_

“I don’t have to like someone to recognize that calling them a bitch without knowing them is completely—”

_“Sexist and inappropriate. So you’ve said.”_

Noora folded her arms. “You could listen to me sometimes.”

 _“I am listening!”_ Carmilla protested. _“Tell me about her. What was her name again?”_

Noora blushed at confessing it out loud. “Eva.”

_“Holy shit, you’ve got it bad!”_

“It’s just embarrassing! She’s got a boyfriend!” 

_“She’s got a boyfriend, but you’re still into her. Has anything happened between you two yet?”_

Noora rubbed her lips together. “Well, she did stay over last night.” 

Carmilla squawked. _“What?!”_

“Not like that!” Noora amended. “But we did both sleep in my bed, and she’s been… she’s been giving me really confusing vibes that I don’t know what to do with because she’s having problems with her boyfriend and I don’t want to fuck anything up, but it feels like she wants me to make a move sometimes.” 

It all rushed out of her, relieved to be free of her mental confines. Carmilla looked contemplative. _“Maybe she’s just as confused as you are. If you’re getting vibes… maybe she doesn’t know what to do either.”_

“Yeah, that’s possible,” Noora considered. “But it’s also possible that I’m totally misreading everything and if I make a move, I’ll ruin the friendship _and_ her relationship.” 

Carmilla didn’t respond for a moment. _“Wow. You always were cynical.”_

“Realistic, Carmilla.” 

_“Semantics, Noora. I think, if you really like this girl, you should just tell her! She seems too polite to be mad at you for that.”_

Noora furrowed her brows in thought. “I guess you’re right.”

 _“Of course I’m right. Now,”_ Carmilla grinned. _“Back to Blake.”_

 

~<:>~

 

Noora analyzed Carmilla’s advice that night, and the night after, instead of sleeping. She’d had no word from Eva since Saturday, which was alright, but a little worrying. Her thoughts drifted to when Eva had been asleep beside her in this very bed. Though she refused to admit that she hadn’t washed the pillow because it still smelled like her. 

If she did want to talk with Eva, the best thing to do would be to say something during their tutoring sessions. Obviously, the two of them would need to be alone for Eva (and Noora) to feel comfortable. Noora knew Eva’s mom was leaving again, so they could meet this week and talk. 

But Noora would feel more comfortable confessing this shit after Eva’s problems with Jonas were solved. Though, if they were solved in the sense that the two lovebirds got back together and happy, Noora would absolutely feel stupid saying anything. 

In the end, she was happy to have Eva in the way she did. 

That was the thought she finally fell asleep to. 

 

~<:>~

 

Noora saw Eva sitting outside with Vilde on Monday during the break. She woke to no new messages from the redhead that morning, but if they were going to talk now, that was fine. Maybe it was better to do in person anyway, Noora thought. 

Vilde greeted her enthusiastically and invited her to sit down on her other side, away from Eva. Noora wasn’t exactly fine having Vilde between them but she wasn’t so desperate that she would ignore her friend.

She did a mental backtrack at that. Since when had Vilde become her friend? She supposed it had to do with how much of her old self she saw, and while she didn’t want Vilde to become a project, she knew she could at least be there for her as a friend. 

Noora realized she wasn’t even listening to the other blonde and tuned in, only to find Vilde still romanticizing her Friday night (not that Noora wasn’t doing the same). 

“I’ll soon see William again,” Vilde was saying, looking into the distance like it was matter-of-fact. “I think we have something going on, though the age difference is quite big. There really could be something between us! He said he thinks I’m really special. And I’m ready for it.” She paused, uncertainty in her expression. “Even though…”

She trailed off. “Even though what, Vilde?” Noora asked. She suspected she knew where the hesitation was coming from. 

Vilde shook her head. “Nothing.” Her bright smile returned. “Anyway, did I tell you I had an orgasm?”

The redirection was so sharp; Noora knew Vilde was brushing her off. She didn’t want Vilde to do that. She wanted the other girl to know she was there for her. Noora pursed her lips and leaned forward. “Okay. What was that like?” 

Vilde looked ponderous. “It was a bit like a sneeze. Just down there.”

If Noora hadn’t been sold before, she was now. Vilde wasn’t sexually attracted to guys. “Like a sneeze?” she asked skeptically. 

Vilde nodded. “I think I know why everyone got an orgasm with him,” she continued before Noora could say anything. 

The taller blonde tucked her sigh down. “Yeah, why is that?”

Vilde squinted. “Because he was really big.” 

Noora balked. “Vilde, you can’t just go around telling people about his dick!” She saw Eva finally look over and smile at that. The redhead seemed distracted today. 

“Why not?” Vilde asked, genuine curiosity in her eyes. 

“You’re asking me why you can’t tell people about his most vulnerable body part?”

Vilde scoffed. “Firstly, that body part wasn’t that vulnerable. And secondly, he’ll surely talk about my body to his friends. Girls should also be able to do that.” Vilde held out her hands. “Sorry that I also support equality and feminism.”

Noora shook her head. “But, Vilde, first of all, size doesn’t have anything to do with orgasms. And secondly, just because guys are idiots doesn’t mean we have to be as well. It’s got nothing to do with equality at all.”

The hurt, absent look in Vilde’s eyes told Noora she may have overstepped. “Whatever,” she muttered. Noora jostled her shoulder, moving to make amends. 

“It’s okay, Vilde. I just really respect privacy. We’re in public, as well. Maybe if it was just us girls in a bedroom or something it would be better.”

Vilde stiffened at the words ‘just us girls in a bedroom’; Noora noticed. She cleared her throat, remembering that they are, in fact, in public and she doesn’t want to push Vilde too hard. 

“But, it was good then?” she reiterated. “That’s the most important part.” 

“It was really good,” Vilde said, though now she sounded less confident. “But… there’s just one thing.”

Noora raised her eyebrows, keen to hear the one thing and collect more evidence for her suspicion (maybe she was more like Eskild than she cared to admit). 

“No one tells you it practically runs out of you again,” Vilde finished.

Both Eva and Noora started at the comment. “You didn’t use a condom?” Eva asked, incredulous. 

Vilde shook her head. “No, he said he tends not to use one.”

“Vilde!” Noora exclaimed, losing all her inhibitions. “Are you serious? This was your first time and you didn’t use a condom? Do you care about STDs? You have to know the first rule of having safe sex is to always use protection!”

Vilde didn’t exactly have a response, but Noora wasn’t giving in to her doe eyes this time. “Vilde, I’m not angry at you. But William had no right to ask that of you. He’s just as responsible, if not more.”

Noora was silently seething after that no-good Alexander knock-off. Who did he think he was? Eva’s voice was the only thing that broke her train of thought. 

“What the fuck is that?”

Noora looked up to see Chris and Sana skating in on a couple of hoverboards, high-fiving people as they went along through the courtyard. She was sure she, Vilde, and Eva all held similar expressions of disbelief. 

As Sana and Chris pulled up in front of them, Vilde exclaimed: “Where did you get those?”

“Sana knows someone!” Chris responded gleefully.

The look on Sana’s face was smug, but somehow still all business. That was essentially how she operated. “Someone will pick up the toilet paper tonight,” she told Vilde.

The blonde frowned. “But I need payment first.”

Sana rolled her eyes. “That’s not how it works. He needs the toilet paper to get paid by his people, and then he pays you, so you can pay your people.”

“But I don’t have ‘people’,” Vilde protested. 

Sana curled her lip so hard Noora was surprised she was still balanced on the board. “Do you think MasterCard operates without people?”

With that, she skated off. Chris did a quick spin in front of the three of them before following her. 

Noora didn’t have anything to say, really. The conversation had been completely de-railed. Before she could even recuperate, she saw William, flanked by two members of his Penetrator posse, moving to pass by them. 

Vilde gave a small smile, but William didn’t even stop to talk, throwing a short “Hey” her way. Noora’s anger at him bubbled back up to the surface, but he was gone before she could say anything. 

Slightly behind them came Chris, Eva’s stalker from the party, and more Penetrator guys. Noora heard Eva greet them, looking much happier than she had the past fifteen minutes. 

“Hey,” Chris said, staring Eva down seductively. Noora clenched her teeth. “Are you guys coming to the Halloween party on Friday?”

“Yeah, maybe,” Eva said. Noora felt a small twinge of satisfaction that she wasn’t falling for his stupid charms. 

Vilde, of course, ruined it. “We’re coming!” she said enthusiastically. 

“Good,” Chris responded, turning his gaze back on Eva. “We’ll talk later.” 

Noora didn’t mind Vilde and William half as much as she minded Eva and Chris, and the thought alone scared her. 

 

~<:>~

 

Eva didn’t text her. 

Noora didn’t hear a single word between seeing her in Spanish. She didn’t want to ask what was going on with Jonas, because she felt as though she had already become too involved. But she couldn’t help that she was worried when Eva had gone radio silent. 

What gave her some hope was when she asked Eva about their tutoring session that Wednesday, and the redhead said they could meet at her house. Maybe they could talk there?

They entered through the front again, having come from school together. Having come from the shit-show that took place in the bathroom with Sana and Vilde. Noora couldn’t say she disagreed with Sana based on William’s behavior, but the two of them certainly had different approaches to honesty. 

Noora found that she didn’t dislike Sana, not really. She was put off by some of the methods the other girl used, but it wasn’t Sana’s fault Noora had been through some shit. And it wasn’t Noora’s fault for whatever Sana had undoubtedly been through. Noora might have even been crushing on Sana if Eva hadn’t stepped into the picture first. 

Speaking of, Noora fell back into the present, rummaging through her bag for her Spanish stuff. When she stood upright, she found Eva twisting the hem of her shirt and staring, an obvious sign that something was on her mind. 

“Are you okay?” Noora asked tentatively. 

“Do you mind if we just talk?” Eva asked. 

Noora’s brows drew together, half a smile on her lips. “Of course not,” she said, setting the books back down. 

They sat across from one another on Eva’s bed, legs dangling off the side. “I confronted Jonas,” Eva told her. 

Noora’s heart beat a little faster. “And?”

Eva bit her lip. “He said the reason he couldn’t make it on Friday was because he was out smoking weed with his friends.”

Noora frowned. “That’s a shit reason.”

“Thanks,” Eva uttered. “I think so, too. The thing is, I didn’t even know he smoked anything, let alone marijuana.”

“Does it bother you?” Noora asked, trying to be sensitive.

Eva splayed her hands, exasperated. “I mean, yeah, it bothers me! It’s not healthy. It’s like… a gateway drug or some shit. And it certainly bothers me that he lied to me about it, and used it as an excuse to just fuck off when—” 

She sighed, pressing both hands to her face. “Anyway, I didn’t take it well, so we just argued more. And he still wouldn’t admit that Ingrid was there, but I was _best friends_ with her, I know what her fucking voice sounds like.”

Noora let her pause, breathe, and processed the information herself. “So, where do you and Jonas stand now?” she asked after a minute. 

“I don’t know,” Eva answered, twisting her shirt again. “He tried to sweet-talk me, but… I’ve kind of started seeing past that bullshit. I just walked away, got on a bus.” She sighed again. “I’ve been reading his texts since last night but I haven’t responded.”

Noora nodded slowly. It all made a lot of sense now—Eva’s behavior the past few days. She didn’t understand why she hadn’t just texted, but Noora supposed chatting in person was more intimate. Not that Eva wanted that.

“Okay. I’m really sorry, Eva. That’s shitty that he lied to you,” Noora sympathized, brushing the redhead’s arm gently. “What are you going to do now?”

Eva didn’t respond for a long moment. Her hair, braided, hung down past her shoulder as she thought with her head tipped down. Finally, she raised her chin, still not meeting Noora’s gaze. “I’m going to tell him that we should take a break.” 

“Are you sure?” Noora asked reflexively. 

“Yes,” Eva said. “If he’s going to keep lying, keep treating me like this, then I think we should take some time apart.”

Noora nodded with her again. “That makes sense. Hey.” She looked Eva in the eye. “As long as it’s what you want, I support you.”

She caught the blush that was starting to rise on Eva’s cheeks. “Thanks,” the redhead smiled. “I think it’s for the best. Now, shall we?” 

Noora recognized the Spanish book in her hand. “Absolutely.” 

 

~<:>~

 

Since Vilde had already told the Penetrators they were coming, Noora was stuck getting ready for a Halloween party on a Friday night. Noora loved Halloween, the chance to be someone else, but she wasn’t keen on partying with dickheads like William and Chris. 

She knew they probably weren’t total dickheads, but still.

Vilde had decided to go as a sexy kitten, though she was wearing a fairly modest costume for the title. Their Chris was a giant marshmallow, which was a hilarious hassle to get on her. Sana put on a blonde wig and declared herself a bitchy white girl, raising Noora’s opinion of her even further. Noora herself was going as Log Lady from Twin Peaks, like she did every year.

Eva’s costume was absolutely stunning. In less than an hour, she became the Black Swan, eyelashes and all. Noora felt a bit intimidated by how pretty she looked, since her own costume made her look as non-sexy as fucking possible. She and her log would definitely get odd looks, but none like the ones people would give Eva. 

Before they left, Noora found Eva with her phone. “Hey,” she said brightly. 

Eva looked up at her. “Hi. Are we going?”

Noora nodded. “Soon.” She noticed Eva’s posture, clicking her tongue. “Come on now, Eva. You’re a ballerina,” she scolded, putting her hands on either side of Eva’s collarbone. “Stand tall. Own it.”

Eva smiled without teeth and humored her, straightening up as much as she could. Though the smile faded quickly and Noora’s stomach did an Olympic gymnastics routine as she looked into Eva’s eyes. There was something burning in them; the skin was hot where she touched it, and she could feel her palms start to sweat. Eva’s gaze fell down to her lips—

“Come on, guys!” Chris shouted from the other room. “Let’s party!”

Noora removed her hands with lightning speed, wiping them inconspicuously (she hoped) on her coat. “Let’s party, then.” She turned before she could see Eva’s face. 

When they got there, the place was packed with people Noora didn’t quite care for. She saw William first, covered in stupid blood spatter, dancing with Ingrid’s blonde friend, who was dressed like Minnie Mouse. Vilde noticed him, too, and Noora watched the confusion on her face magnify. She felt terribly for her. 

They found a spot on the dance floor near a couch, which Eva claimed fairly quickly, sipping at her beer. Noora, Sana, and Chris danced near her, Vilde having left earlier to try and interact with William. Noora didn’t envy her the struggle she was bound to have accepting what a massive dick he was. 

She spotted Ingrid across the way, complete cultural-appropriation costume and all. Noora caught her eye and narrowed her gaze at the brunette like she’d done weeks ago. Once again, Ingrid looked confused, backing down immediately, though she whispered something to her friend. Noora couldn’t care less what it was. 

As the music kept pumping, Eva still sat, alone on her sofa. Noora held out her log, coaxing the redhead to come dance with her. Sana and Chris joined in, all shouting at her over the volume of the song. Finally, Noora put her log down beside Eva and grabbed her hands. 

“You ought to have _some_ fun!” she half-yelled with a shit-eating grin. 

Eva rolled her eyes but she let Noora guide her out onto the dance floor. They were packed in with the rest of the bodies, resembling the first Penetrator party they’d been to as a bus. Noora didn’t doubt that all the parties that these fuckboys hosted were the same: screaming first-year girls and desperate third-year assholes flirting and grinding to popular music, drinking far too much alcohol for their ages. 

There was a reason Noora avoided places like this. But, with Eva, Sana, and Chris beside her, she felt stronger. She felt in control. 

A song heavy with bass, drums, and sexual innuendoes dropped in, and Noora shook her shoulders with Chris before turning to find Eva closer than she’d thought. She smiled to shake it off, and though she wasn’t drunk, there was a giddiness in the air that was consuming her. 

She grabbed Eva’s arm loosely, shaking her around a bit. The redhead smiled, a blush appearing on her cheeks. Noora thought she was so damn beautiful, and so damn hot, and so damn cute, and so damn everything. It was, as she had originally suspected, insane. The song was starting to do things to her brain, and her proximity to Eva was doing things to her body. 

Noora whipped off her glasses, fairly dramatically, and threw them onto the couch, along with her hairpins, which she pulled from the back of her head, shaking her hair into a curled mess. Eva laughed and bit her lip at the display. 

It felt like the electric chemistry between them was actually shocking her now, drawing them both towards each other. Noora placed her hands on Eva’s shoulders, as she had done earlier that evening, moving them to the beat. Eva’s hands moved to Noora’s waist and the blonde nearly melted at the contact. 

It might have been her imagination, but Noora could almost swear Eva began to lean in. Noora’s eyes were half-lidded, ready to close, when the song ended. 

It broke the mood completely; some people even clapped. Eva looked up like a deer in headlights, and beyond Noora’s shoulder, her eyes narrowed in on someone. Noora realized that with how they’d been turning during the dance, Eva was now facing Ingrid’s direction. 

Eva dropped her hands and pushed past Noora, who tried to grab her arm and stop her, but to no avail. Noora watched the ginger bun disappear into the crowd. She was blocked by a mob, suddenly, when all she needed to do was get to Eva. Annoyed, she shouldered and checked a few people, one being the fuckboy Chris.

“Fuck! Watch where you’re going, hottie!” he called after her. She didn’t have the time to deal with him. 

Luckily, it was a small enough room, and Eva wasn’t far. Noora stopped a few paces behind her, listening awkwardly as Ingrid spoke. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I was with Jonas last Friday. He didn’t tell you?” The brunette made a face of fake sympathy. “Aw.” 

Noora clenched her fist. But her Eva had a spine. “Fuck you, Ingrid!” she spat, turning without seeing Noora behind her. 

“No, fuck you, Eva! Fuck you!” Ingrid shouted after her, attracting a few of the party-goers attention. 

Noora didn’t hesitate. 

She walked up to Ingrid, arms crossed. “Classy. That you are shouting after a girl who you’ve berated for a stupid mistake for which she only holds one-third of the blame.” 

Ingrid furrowed her brows. “Who the fuck are you? Why have you been staring at me like some creep?”

“I’d just like you to know that if you want to judge someone else, you need to take a good look at yourself first. Especially if that person used to be your best fucking friend.” 

“You have no idea what that bitch did to me!” Ingrid protests, pointing her beer can in the direction Eva had fled. 

“I do,” Noora corrected coldly. “And I think it’s bullshit that you should do the same to her. Just because she cheated doesn’t mean you have to cheat back. Or call her a slut for falling in love.”

Ingrid was stunned, maybe a little drunk, too. Noora left her there, too worried about Eva to take her venom out on Ingrid. She actually felt bad for her; Eva had betrayed her and that was shitty. Noora was only trying to protect and defend her friend. 

She found Eva in the nearest bedroom, head in her lap. Quietly, Noora closed the door behind her. Eva looked up, breaking down again when she saw who it was. 

Noora rushed to sit beside her, pulling Eva against her chest. “I f-fucking knew it,” Eva sobbed. “Jonas was with her! They were probably g-getting high and making out and—fuck, I’m s-such a fucking idiot!” 

“No, Eva,” Noora said, soothing. “No. The fucking idiots are those two.” 

She pushed Eva up so she could look at her better. “They’re idiots for not realizing how brilliant you are.” 

Eva wiped away her tears with the heels of her hands. Noora reached into her coat and pulled out a pack of tissues. “Here.” 

Eva gave a sniffly sort of laugh and accepted them. “Thank you.” 

“This coat has many wonders,” Noora provided weakly. 

Eva laughed again, blowing her nose and clearing the rest of the tears away. “Fuck, you always seem to make me feel better. Seriously.” 

Noora hoped her blush was well hidden under her make-up. “Well, if you want to feel even better, I kind of ripped Ingrid a new one in your honor.” 

Eva’s eyes widened. “Really?”

“I didn’t shout at her,” Noora clarified. “But I wanted to.” 

Eva half-smiled. Slowly, carefully, she put her hand up to cup Noora’s cheek. “Thank you,” she murmured, brushing the bone with her thumb. Noora’s voice caught in her throat. Eva was focused on her lips, no split-second glances or nuance to be had this time. The redhead leaned in, and Noora caught her mouth gently. 

The kiss was slow at first, but it broke away naturally and turned into another, harder kiss, that became mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, because every second that Noora’s lips were touching Eva’s was like a breath of fresh air. She forgot everything around them, not caring about a thing but this. 

Eva moved her body closer, bringing a second hand up to Noora’s other cheek. Noora gripped and hovered and slid around Eva’s arms, reaching for more, more, more of her. Their tongues met without hesitation and it sent shivers down Noora’s spine. She almost wanted to pull Eva onto her, wanted to feel her weight everywhere. 

The heat of the kisses grew with every one. Noora had forgotten how to stay on the ground. It was like her head was fuzzy, her mind floating above them as they met over and over again, sucking and breathing life into each other. Noora had wanted this for so long, she had no idea what to do other than accept it. And accept it she fucking did, she thought, Eva’s tongue running along her lower lip.

Without warning, the music grew much louder, and panic struck Noora as she realized someone had opened the door. 

They broke away from each other rather quickly, but it was too late. Eva looked abashed and Noora turned to see Penetrator Chris standing in front of the now closed door, a phone to his ear. He hung it up with ease, flashing a charming smile their way. 

“Wow. I knew you two were hot, but this?” He wiped his mouth. “Impressive. I’m a bit horny now.”

“Yes, because that was our goal,” Noora bit out instinctively. “To turn you on.” 

“It worked!” Chris grinned. 

“Fucking hell, Chris, have you ever heard of sarcasm? Or knocking?” Eva huffed, standing. 

Noora reached out to touch her, to get her to stay, but she stopped her arm before it could land on Eva’s leg. The redhead grabbed her hand, to Noora’s surprise and delight, and pulled her up from the bed. 

“Come on, Noora. Let’s go.” 

Chris waved to them on the way out, still hiding a smile behind his hand and caressing his junk, to Noora’s disgust. 

She let Eva lead her out from the party. The rest of the people there seemed blurry; the back of Eva’s head was the only thing she could focus on. Once they were outside, free of people, down the steps and in the street, Eva turned back to her. 

Noora wasn’t sure what to do now. They’d kissed—made out—but there was still all the shit with Jonas to sort out. Eva moved in again, as if to kiss her, but Noora held Eva’s shoulders to keep her at bay, as much as it pained her to do so. 

“Eva…” she began, and the redhead backed down immediately. 

“Sorry,” she said, hands pressed to her face again. “Noora, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to assume anything, I’m just really fucked up right now—” 

“Eva,” Noora said again, gently moving the redhead’s hands down. “You don’t have to apologize. That was—”

“A spur of the moment thing!” Eva finished.

“Completely,” Noora said, hands raised. “And, I know you were feeling… a lot—”

“So much!”

“Yeah.” 

They stared at each other for another minute before Eva bit her lip. “Then, why do I want to kiss you again?”

Noora had to bite her tongue to keep the anxious, giddy energy contained in her chest. “We can… deal with that later, yeah?”

Eva nodded, looking embarrassed. “Yeah.” 

Noora twisted her hands. “Do… you want me to walk you home?” 

Eva stared. “I don’t know. Yes.” 

“Yes?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, then.” Noora clasped Eva’s hand in hers. “We’ll go home.”

It wasn’t too far at all to Eva’s place, and before Noora knew it, they were standing outside her front stoop. They’d walked mostly in silence the whole way there, Noora conscious of her hand in Eva’s as their joined palms swung back and forth between them. It felt like neither of them really wanted to let go.

Noora walked her all the way up to the door. Eva didn’t look away from her, eyes unreadable in the dark. They stood, tension rising from their hands. 

“Here we are,” Noora said dumbly. “Are you… are you going to be okay?”

Eva nodded absently. “Yeah… I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” 

Noora nodded, too. “Right, well.” She was running out of things to say, reasons to stay. “Bye, then.” 

She started to walk backwards, but their hands were still joined. When Eva didn’t let go, Noora gave a confused smile. The redhead smiled, too.

Then, surprising Noora again, Eva pulled her back in and kissed her soundly, smirk still on her lips when they parted. She dropped Noora’s hand. “Bye.” 

Noora took a few steps back and watched Eva enter, watched her look back over her shoulder one last time before closing the door. 

She felt like walking backwards all the way back to her apartment. 

She didn’t, of course, but she would have. 

When she got home, Eskild was still up, watching something with Linn on the TV. They looked to her as she entered. 

“Ah! Our Log Lady!” Eskild exclaimed, pausing or muting their show. “Back so soon?”

Noora didn’t respond, mind elsewhere as she hung up her coat and took off her shoes. 

“Uhh, Earth to Noora?” Eskild said. “Hello? Where’s your log, Lady?”

Noora remembered then that she’d left her log, glasses, and hairpins on the couch at the party. “Shit,” she said quietly. “I… must have left it there.”

“Did you leave your consciousness there as well?” Eskild joked, standing. Linn took the remote and resumed her viewing without him. 

When Eskild reached her, Noora pushed him away, without any force. “Eskild, I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

“Did something happen, my little lamb?”

“Nothing bad, Eskild, will you please let me go to my room?” Noora was… tired, confused to say the least, and in disbelief that not only had she kissed Eva twice but Eva had initiated both. 

“Okay, fine,” Eskild agreed, allowing her to pass. “But let me know who to kill?”

“Don’t kill anyone, Eskild!” she called back to him as she trudged to her room. 

“Not even Donald Trump?!” he countered. She was too tired to respond. 

Not for the first time, Noora had been wrong. She had been so wrong about her signals from Eva—well, she had been right about them—but she had been wrong to assume that she was wrong—that the obviousness of the vibes meant she was reading too much into things. It was true what they said: you’re only wrong when you think you are.

She scrubbed off her make-up and hung up her costume and brushed her hair, all the while thinking of Eva and her brilliant laugh and her lips, God—

Noora brought a hand to her own, feeling where Eva had licked and sucked and bruised them in what had felt like no time at all. Was it all a dream? She was honestly too scared to find out. 

As she changed into her pajamas, she ran a hand down over her chest. She imagined it was Eva’s and it filled her with something she’d been missing since Carmilla—and fuck, she hadn’t done this in a while. 

She turned off the lights and climbed into bed and slowly eased her hand down her pants, imagining Eva’s hand there, her tongue, her body, her fingers working Noora’s clit and rubbing over her softness, Eva’s lips on her neck, collarbone, and nipples, moving down her stomach, Eva’s soft red hair in her hands, Eva’s beautiful, bright mouth sucking and biting and putting Noora over the edge until she came onto her own fingers with Eva’s name on her tongue. 

The last thought she had before falling asleep was that she would throw herself out a window if Eskild had heard any of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D No I didn't understand Chris or Sana's costumes, unnskyld.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, things got heated last time. But we all know what drama teenagers get into, so... this chapter has nothing short of what SKAM is all about. (*chris p voice* DRAMA!!)

When Noora woke, sun beaming in through her white curtains, she had three messages from Eva. 

_Hey_  
_Can we talk about last night?_  
_I’m sorry for all this_

A rush of dread coursed through Noora at the wording. Did Eva regret it? She had been sipping away pretty keenly at that beer… maybe it was a tipsy thing? What did she mean by ‘all this’? 

Noora shook her head, closing the phone. No. She couldn’t assume anything. She just… had to talk to Eva and hear her out. Everything would be fine. The girl had a right to be confused—she was on a break with her boyfriend who’d lied to her and she’d just kissed a new friend—Noora understood. 

_Of course we can talk. Do you want to meet up?_

After a moment’s hesitation, she added:

 _There’s nothing to apologize for, Eva._

With that, Noora got out of bed, despite her urge to sink back into the sheets, and dressed. She checked her phone to see if Eva had said anything back, but there was no word. Sighing, Noora braced herself for Eskild. 

He was nowhere to be found when she stepped out into the living room. Nervous, she peeked her head into the kitchen, but it, too, was empty. The door to his room was open and the lights were off. 

Noora squinted and put her hands on her hips. She half-expected him to jump out from behind the couch and scare her. Just as she was about to check the bathroom, her phone chimed. She almost dropped it in surprise, fumbling to open messenger. 

_What about the Kuba park by Vulkan? That’s near your place, right?_

Noora smiled, an odd feeling welled up in her chest. 

_Sure. Does 12:00 work?_

_Better make it 12:30._

_Okay. See you there!_

She cringed a bit at the exclamation point. Eva sent her back a thumbs up, which amused her and put her at ease. 

Noora was able to eat breakfast without any sign of Eskild or where he’d gone. She snuck out before Linn woke up, too. She’d have to face them eventually, but she’d rather talk to Eva and figure out what they had between them before getting their (Eskild’s) hopes up.

Noora arrived first, deciding to seat herself on a bench near where she’d entered, facing some trees. A few minutes past 12:40, Eva showed up, breathless, but attempting to compose herself. She was wearing her long scarf and fluffy white coat, her hair a tangled mess draped around her shoulders. That was the kind of beauty Eva had, and it stunned Noora to her core.

She stood as Eva approached. “Hello.”

“Hi,” Eva replied, coming to a stop in front of her. 

It felt as though they should hug, but after a minute of standing there awkwardly, they both laughed and sat down. Noora tucked her hair behind her ear. “How did you sleep?”

“I… didn’t,” Eva confessed. Her cheeks were disguised, red from the cold. “I mean, not for a while. Sorry I was late, I just have a hard time getting ready.”

“It’s okay,” Noora said, shrugging. “I haven’t been waiting very long.”

Silence drifted over them again. Noora looked to Eva’s hands, gloved, and buried in her lap. She still managed to play with the fabric of her coat. Noora’s stomach flipped to think of her fingers—

“So,” she started. “Let’s talk about last night, then.”

Eva hesitated, not looking at her. Noora softened her voice. “You can take your time. Say whatever you need to say, I—”

“Noora,” Eva interrupted. “Thank you, but you’re really too kind to me.” 

Noora frowned. “No, I—”

“I was the one who jumped you last night,” Eva pressed on. “Twice. And I didn’t mean to take out all my anger and-and sadness and- desperation on you. What kind of friend does that?”

Noora’s heart hurt to hear those words, but she knew Eva was hurting too. She thought she wasn’t able to be a good friend, period. “Listen to me, Eva,” Noora said firmly. “You had a lot of shitty things happen to you this week. Don’t be so hard on yourself for giving into that—”

“No, but I—” Eva sighed, brows knitted together. She returned her gaze to her lap. “I confused things even more.”

“What do you mean?” 

Eva blinked and bit her lip, as though working up the courage to speak. “I mean…” Her eyes met Noora’s again. “You confuse me, Noora.”

Noora herself was certainly confused. She didn’t want to believe what Eva was saying. She didn’t want her hopes to fall short. “I confuse you?”

“Yes,” Eva replied quietly. “You have since we met.” 

The bruise left on Noora’s heart from earlier was starting to heal and swell and her blood pumped in her ears. Had she been right all along? Fuck. Fucking fuck. The only way she was going to get any answers was if she listened. So, Noora sat back patiently and let Eva gather her thoughts. As nerve-wracking as it was to watch. 

“I-I just… haven’t had… crushes on girls before. Or, I didn’t think I had, before we became friends. And then I thought back, and I realized that I might’ve had one on Ingrid, and so it made everything with Jonas that much harder. I… I know I loved him, was in love with him, but I’m not anymore. And I-I might have been in love with Ingrid, too, at one point. Or felt some kind of… love for her. That wasn’t platonic. Infatuation.”

Eva paused for air. “What I’m trying to say, Noora, is… that… shitty things…” She sighed again, and Noora could sense her nervousness. “Shitty things were happening to me this week, but that’s not the only reason I kissed you.” 

It seemed to take all her strength to look Noora in the eyes, and the blonde returned the redhead’s gaze, though she swore she would melt under the glow. “I kissed you, Noora,” Eva continued. “Because I like you. Because… I really, really like you, and I’ve been wanting to for, like… weeks.” 

Noora was about to die. This is where her life ended. She knew she was being dramatic but holy _fuck_ , was she not expecting this. She felt blindsided, despite her suspicions. Hell, she guessed she’d been paying much closer attention to _Vilde_ than Eva given the amount of shock in her system at this confession. 

“I know that it’s… a lot,” Eva said to Noora’s silence. “And I don’t expect you to have an answer for me right away. And I’m really sorry if I just… ruined the whole thing—”

“You didn’t ruin anything, Eva,” Noora said quickly. She smiled, the lift of it freeing all that she’d been keeping in her chest. She laughed a little. “Trust me, you didn’t ruin anything.”

Eva’s lips disappeared slightly, mouth white with tension and brows worried as she waited for more. Noora indulged her, placing a friendly hand on the redhead’s knee. 

“I was trying to ask you out, you know. That Friday after we sat together in Spanish class. Before I met Vilde.”

Eva’s eyebrows shot up. “Seriously?”

“Yeah. I didn’t know you had a boyfriend,” Noora said. Her own palms felt a bit sweaty at revealing all this. “Obviously.” 

Eva looked at her with wonder in her owl eyes. “So you… you didn’t mind that I kissed you?”

“Eva,” Noora shook her head in disbelief. “I wanted to kiss you since that night at the bar.”

Eva’s cheeks were definitely more flushed than they had been a second ago. Noora reveled in it. “And then I got to know you,” she continued, letting Eva have a moment. “And… everything I learned about who you are made me like you even more.” She hoped this wasn’t too much. “I thought: at least if she isn’t interested in me, this girl is one cool fucking friend.”

The blush only grew and Eva ducked her head, apples of her cheeks shining with her smile. “Really?”

“Eva, come on,” Noora teased, nudging her. “You’re a good friend. You’re… really connected with people’s feelings and even if you flunk Spanish”—she paused for Eva’s laughter—“that doesn’t take away from how smart you are. And you’ve been through some shit, made some mistakes; that’s so fucking great! It makes you stronger.” 

Noora’s flare died down a bit as she realized how much she was putting on the line here. She looked down at her hands. “And I really, really like you, too. For the record.” 

She couldn’t see Eva’s expression, but she felt Eva’s hands on top of hers as the redhead slid closer on the bench. She let them stay that way for a while, waiting for Eva to say something in return to that gush-fest she’d just vomited out. She really needed to listen to her mental notes more often. 

“I don’t know what to say to that,” Eva finally spoke. “You make me feel so special, Noora. I really don’t deserve it.”

Noora looked up at that, determined to prove her wrong. “Yes, you do, Eva.” She wrapped the redhead’s hands in her own. “Do you trust me?”

Eva nodded. “Then believe me,” Noora said. “You are worthy of praise. You are a good, kind person. And a fun one to be around, even though you’ve been having a rough time recently.” An old quote flickered through Noora’s mind. “The bad times don’t define us. It’s how we move on from them that counts. How we continue to live. How we right the wrongs.” 

Noora could see Eva’s eyes starting to water, just a little bit. “I haven’t righted very many wrongs.”

Noora quirked her lips sympathetically. “There’s still time.”

Eva’s smile spread to her whole face, cracking ever so slightly through the sadness and pain that rested there. “Thank you.”

Noora reached up on instinct, shifting the hair back gently from Eva’s face. “What are friends for?”

Eva leaned into her touch. They stayed that way for a while, until Eva’s eyes re-opened, clearer than they’d been since the beginning of the conversation. She sat up more, and Noora pulled her hand away. 

“Noora,” Eva began. “I do just want to say that I… I’m still… figuring things out. In my head. About myself. And I—I know that I like you, which probably means I’m bisexual, but I’m not sure I want anyone else to know, yet. So… if we could keep this between us?”

Noora hesitated. “What about Jonas?”

Eva’s expression clouded. “I still have to deal with him, tell him… tell him that we’re done.” She looked so incredibly sad. “At least that’s what I’ve been feeling. I’ll work it out. I just need some time.” She glanced up at Noora expectantly. “Is that okay?”

Noora pushed her brows together, amazed at the insecurity that still laid on Eva’s surface. “Of course it’s okay, Eva.” She gave a reassuring smile.

Eva nodded in relief. “Then we’re good. Everything’s… alright between us?” 

“Everything’s perfect,” Noora said. “Do what you have to. I’ll be here.” 

Shit, that sounded both more romantic and less romantic than she’d intended. She clenched her jaw, hopefully unnoticed. 

“Thank you so much, Noora!” Eva wrapped her arms around the blonde’s neck with sudden, unexpected force. Noora hugged her back, amused. As they pulled apart, their lips almost touched. Eva ducked back before it could get too weird. 

She bit her lip, looking up at Noora through those lashes and by the fucking gods, Noora had one question on her mind:

What the fuck had just happened?

 

~<:>~

 

Eskild was waiting for her when she got home. 

“Aha!” he crowed, spreading his arms. “You can’t hide from me forever!”

Noora relented, hanging up her coat. “Fine, Eskild. What do you want to know?”

“I want to know who hurt you,” he said, as though it were obvious. 

“No one hurt me,” Noora replied. She paused, shifting her weight. “But, um… I… kissed Eva.”

Eskild put a hand on his hip. “Eva, the redhead with the boyfriend Eva?” At Noora’s nod, he clapped. “I knew it!”

“Okay,” Noora leveled her arms to calm him. “Yes, but, it’s all very new, and she still has to work things out with her boyfriend. So.” She tilted her head. “We’ll see.”

“This is worth celebrating. I’ll get the wine.”

“But, Eskild—”

Linn popped her head out of the doorway to her room. “If we’re having alcohol, I’m joining.”

 

~<:>~

 

Noora thought about the conversation from Saturday for the rest of the weekend, but she didn’t text Eva. It was clear the redhead needed to sort things out with Jonas before the two of them could really… do. Whatever they were doing. 

She still felt stirring in her stomach when she thought of their kiss(es). Impossible to think of anything else when she was lying in bed anymore. She stared at her ceiling and wondered when she’d become this hopeless.

Monday, the five of them had lunch together. Well, minus Sana, who had to leave early because she had somewhere else to be. Noora suspected she just couldn’t put up with Vilde’s obsessive prattling. 

“I’ve thought of names for the bus,” she was saying, fork poking through her salad. Noora’s eyes were focused there, dread building in her chest at how familiar the action looked. 

“First, there’s Lord of the Ringnes, instead of Lord of the Rings. Then we have the Lion Kink, because you could have sex in the woods.” 

Noora exchanged a look with Eva, as she felt her gaze. It seemed to be alright between them, despite the lack of communication since their big talk. That was the way it felt, Noora thought. Everything fell into place with Eva, no matter what was going on. She could tell they were both concerned about Vilde; apparently Ingrid’s blonde friend—Sara was her name—had hooked up with William at the Halloween party. 

“Or, instead of the Hunger Games, we’ll say the Thirst Games,” Vilde continued. “The Thirst Games! Because we drink. And we don’t drink _Pepsi Max_ , to put it like that. No, we’re doing Smirnoff Light here.” 

Noora could respect that, if she weren’t seeing right past the entirely over-eager persona Vilde was giving off. 

“Did you know that Diet Coke won during that Pepsi Max versus Coke test. So Pepsi Max isn’t really that great. It’s not!” Vilde gave a hysterical laugh. “No!” 

Noora held back her sadness and asked, “What are you doing on your plate, Vilde?”

Vilde looked down at the piles of tomatoes, beans, and greens pushed to the sides of her plate. Noora saw the flicker of defense in which Vilde conjured her answer. “I’m just sorting my salad.” She smiled her bright smile.

Noora drew her brows together. “I don’t think you have to sort it anymore.” 

It was painful to watch Vilde eat; the way she carefully stabbed the smallest piece of food with one tong of her fork and brought it to her mouth, chewing as though she would vomit at any minute. Noora couldn’t handle it. 

She felt Eva’s apprehension beside her and it gave her strength. “When are we going to talk about what happened at the Halloween party?” Noora pressed. “That… William and Sara hooked up.” 

“What about it?” Vilde responded immediately, stiffening. 

“Were you upset?” Noora didn’t think she really was, but there was a part of her that had wanted that relationship with William and Noora knew that. 

“No, dear God,” Vilde laughed. “It was a hook-up party. Everyone hooked up with each other, not just William and Sara.” 

Vilde started listing the names of various people that had apparently locked lips at the party. Noora leaned back in her chair, looking at Eva again. The redhead returned her exasperated but amused look, reaching under the table to squeeze Noora’s hand. 

It startled her, though she saw in Eva’s eyes that this was a gesture of affirmation. That everything was alright between them, and she wanted Noora to know that. It filled her up. She squeezed Eva’s hand back. 

“And then there was… well, there was even this lesbian thing going on. Apparently Penetrator Chris saw it—”

Noora registered what Vilde had said and she snapped her gaze to the other blonde, who was still rambling. “—but he didn’t say who, because they invited him to join, and they had boyfriends who would be really pissed if they found out.” 

Anger bubbled up to Noora’s jaw at the ridiculousness of the lie. She gripped Eva’s hand harder beneath the table. “Where did you hear that, Vilde?” she asked, hoping her voice gave nothing away. 

Vilde shook her head dismissively. “It was just going around. People were all over it. I mean, everyone wants to know who these girls are, but Chris isn’t saying anything.”

“Did you ever think maybe they just want to be left alone?” Noora asked, incredulous.

Vilde backtracked hastily. “No, I think it’s good that Chris didn’t say anything. That he’s… respecting their privacy.”

“Why does anyone care, though?” Eva added. She dropped Noora’s hand. “Don’t they have anything better to talk about?”

“I don’t know! I’m just telling you what I heard!” Vilde defended, shrinking in her seat. “Sorry.” 

Noora couldn’t take her eyes off Eva, but the redhead wouldn’t look at her. They spent the rest of the meal listening to more of Vilde’s ramblings about the bus, and Eva didn’t say a word through all of it. 

The good feelings Noora had gotten from that hand squeeze were long gone.

 

~<:>~

 

Noora paced in her room that night, hesitant to send anything to Eva. She didn’t know what the other girl would want to do in this scenario—if she just wanted to be left alone. She’d said at the bench that she wanted to keep things between the two of them, so Noora figured the whole school spreading rumors about her would freak Eva out. 

Finally, lips pressed together, she sent: _Are we going to talk about what Vilde said at lunch today?_

Eva texted back within a minute. _I told Chris to keep what he saw to himself. I think he’ll stay quiet._

That spread a wave of relief through Noora. _Do you know if it was him that started talking about it?_

_Probably. No one else saw us?_

Noora hoped, for Eva’s sake, that no one else had. 

 

~<:>~

 

They didn’t talk about it on Tuesday, but Noora saw Vilde with Eva as she was coming down the stairs and the rumor was the subject matter. 

“I know it’s a bit rude that he mentioned it, but he’s keeping the identities to himself!” Vilde was saying. “That’s really cool of him. The Penetrators aren’t as bad as people think. William, for example!” She beamed. 

“What are we talking about?” Noora interjected with a forced smile. 

“Just how the Penetrators are a pretty cool gang,” Vilde answered. “I’ll probably be getting to know them better, if William and I hang out more—”

“Vilde, seriously?” Noora interrupted again. “Has William even texted you since before the Halloween party?”

She saw in Vilde’s eyes that it was a bit harsh. “He’s an asshole,” Noora continued, softer. “You can’t walk around in that sweater, thinking you’ll be together with him. He’s slept with half the girls in school, and he doesn’t care about any of them.” 

Gently, she put her hand on Vilde’s back, over William’s name. “He’s even marked his name in red here. You’re walking around like some living trophy now!” Noora drew back. “You have to forget William! Here, give him back this sweater, and take back your integrity!” 

“Hey,” Eva added, reaching across to squeeze Vilde’s arm. “He’s the loser, not you.” 

Vilde worried her lip, gazing out the window in silence. “I know you’re supposed to think that if a guy doesn’t like you, something’s wrong with him, not you,” she started. Noora’s stomach flipped at her tone. 

“But how do you think like that?” Vilde looked her in the eyes as though she could see how close Noora was to all this. Like she was really asking her. 

“I always think it’s me there’s something wrong with.” 

Noora almost broke. The only thing she could do was pull Vilde into a hug; she didn’t trust her voice anymore. She felt Eva’s arms around her, too, the three of them sandwiched together in solidarity.

It felt like home, and Noora cried as little as she could.

 

~<:>~

 

They went back to Eva’s for the tutoring session after school, like usual. Noora was apprehensive about what they were actually going to do and it was tying her stomach in so many knots, it physically hurt. 

Once they were inside, Noora sat down at her usual stool, scooching it in towards the bed. Her mind was still on her conversation with Vilde. She should really get around to telling Vilde that she knew what the other girl was going through. 

The look on her face must have given something away, because Eva asked, “Are you doing okay?”

Startled, Noora lifted her head. “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine.”

“I just mean…” Eva continued. “Are you up for a Spanish lesson? With all this going on?”

Noora took a moment. “I… I don’t know,” she confessed. She was tired of masking. “Are you?”

“No,” Eva said immediately, plopping down beside her and stretching out across her sheets. “I would rather sleep forever.”

Noora pursed her lips, amused. “Haven’t gotten much sleep then?”

Eva shook her head. “You?”

“No.” Noora sighed, dropping her papers to the floor. “There’s a lot to think about, lying in bed at night.”

“So true,” Eva drawled, sitting back up. She shifted, tucking her hair back. “Ehm… speaking of which…” Noora’s ears perked at the shift in tone. Eva sighed, pressed her hands into her lap. “Do you… do you think anyone else saw us on Halloween?”

Noora opened her mouth and closed it again. “Like, when Chris opened the door,” Eva continued hastily. “Or, maybe someone saw us leaving together and just… assumed?”

Slowly, Noora lifted a shoulder. “Yeah, maybe. I guess they could have just assumed—but, didn’t you say you thought it was Chris who told people?”

Eva looked conflicted. “I don’t really know.”

“Well, with what Vilde said,” Noora reasoned. “About them having boyfriends and inviting him to join. Only Chris could have told those things?”

“Someone could have made them up?” 

Noora hesitated, reluctant to consider the possibility that someone was out to get them, making up wild rumors like this. It would make her feel much safer if she knew for sure that it was Chris spreading them. She fucking hated all this drama. 

Eva seemed resigned. She threw her hands in the air. “Well, fuck it. Do you want to just watch more Fresh Prince?”

Her sudden cavalier attitude made Noora laugh, but she nodded. “Yes, actually. That sounds perfect.” She needed to decompress. 

They curled up against Eva’s pillows with the laptop resting on each of their legs. It felt completely natural, like they’d done before, though Noora sensed every place her body touched Eva’s, every time Eva looked at her, every readjustment that brought them closer together. She’d seen them before, but this time she recognized them for what they were: flirtations. It made her glow to think about.

After about seven episodes, they decided to stop. It was getting late and Noora had to be home to cook family dinner (and actually do her Spanish work). They didn’t move from their position on the bed. 

Eva played with the ends of her hair. Out of nowhere, she asked, “Do you think Vilde will say something to William?” 

Recovering from her surprise, Noora answered. “I hope she does. At least, I hope she stops kidding herself about what happened between them.” 

Eva looked like she was about to say something, but changed her mind at the last second. 

“Vilde’s a lot more complex than she seems,” Noora added. “She’s got a lot of strength.” 

Eva grinned. “Yeah, that’s why she and Sana butt heads all the time.”

“Yeah, oh my god.” 

Noora was sort of smiling at her lap, but she felt Eva’s gaze on her. “It’s amazing how you’re helping her. Or, trying to,” Eva amended. She shook her head. “You’re… incredible, Noora.” 

Noora didn’t know how to take that, but she knew it would be best if she didn’t meet Eva’s eyes. Or she might kiss her, and that would further complicate things. 

Noora tossed her hair. “I just hope she’s been listening to me.” 

 

~<:>~

 

Vilde practically slammed the sweater down onto the table between them. “I’ve decided on what I’m going to say to William.” 

Noora blinked. She’d hardly thought Vilde would be so determined, though she glanced at Eva, who was undoubtedly thinking of the conversation from last night. “Say?” Noora managed. 

“What are you talking about?” Sana asked. 

Vilde looked over at her. “My integrity.” 

Sana scoffed, quite rudely. “You don’t have any. Next subject.” 

Noora shot her a ‘don’t-fuck-with-this’ look. She had worked too hard to build Vilde up only to have Sana tear her down. She wouldn’t have it. Gently, she returned her attention to Vilde. “What are you going to say?”

“I’ll say that I won’t be treated like this,” Vilde said, ignoring Sana’s protest. “And then, I’ll return the sweater.” 

“You can’t do that!” Sana argued. Noora clenched her jaw. 

“Why not?” Vilde asked, confused. 

Sana leaned forward. “Hello?! We’re finally in with the Penetrator guys and you’re going to fuck everything up?!”

“Says you, who ruined it for all of us the first time we were invited to a bus pre-party!” Vilde bit back. 

That brought a hush over the table. Noora felt a small twinge of pride that Vilde was holding her ground. 

“There was a good reason,” Sana finally said, looking Vilde dead in the eye. 

“Sana,” Noora interjected firmly. “It’s good that Vilde will explain to William that she won’t be treated like crap!” 

“She can’t tell him!” Sana persisted, to Noora’s unfathomable irritation. “It won’t work. It’s better to be completely cool.” 

“It’s possible to be _cool_ and speak up,” Noora said, ending the argument. Sana raised one eyebrow and folded her arms, as though absolving herself of responsibility for whatever they were going to do to fuck up this time. Noora narrowed her eyes. 

“There he is,” Vilde said suddenly. 

Noora turned to see William coming out of a class building with three other Penetrators behind him. She whipped back around to Vilde. “You’re not going to say it now?!”

Vilde nodded sharply. “Yes.”

“Not now, he’s with his friends!” Noora said, praying that would persuade Vilde. She didn’t want to involve anyone whose business this wasn’t, or embarrass William in front of them. 

Unfortunately, Vilde was choosing this instance to stand up for herself. She slung her bag over her shoulder. “I don’t give a shit who he’s with!” she spat, marching over. Noora looked to Eva first, then around at Sana and Chris, and the four of them hurriedly got up to follow Vilde in an instant. 

As they approached, Noora couldn’t help feeling like this was a bad idea. But she was doing everything she could to help Vilde channel her strength. People always chose the wrong fucking times to display their best qualities. 

They fanned out into Vilde’s line of defense as she stopped William in his tracks. “Hi!” she thrust the sweater into his hands. 

“Hi?” William questioned.

“I just wanted to say that if you thought I would walk around like some living trophy, you’re terribly wrong,” Vilde said confidently. Noora hid her smile in her hand. _Fuck yes, Vilde._ “Don’t play dumb!” she continued. “You know what I mean!” 

“Sorry, what’s your name again?”

Noora’s gaze snapped to him and her blood boiled. With one sentence, he had crushed Vilde’s entire air. “Vilde,” she responded meekly. 

“Okay, Vilde,” William said, condescending. “Take a deep breath.”

Noora dug her nails into her palm as Vilde did as William had instructed. “I think there’s been some kind of misunderstanding here,” he said coolly. “It’s probably my fault. But if you think I see you like some kind of trophy, you’re wrong.”

Noora raised her eyebrows, surprised that he would have the decency to say that to her, even if it was a lie. 

“Because you’re not good enough for that.” 

That was all she needed. She’d been waiting weeks to tear this asshole down, and there he went, completely destroying all that self-esteem Vilde had built, and Noora didn’t _fucking_ care if the whole damn school saw; she was going to teach this fucking tool a lesson.

She stepped in front of him before he could pass, giving him a dangerous look. She tipped her head back and smirked. “What an awesome guy you are!”

William looked curious, but he frowned. “Who are you?”

Noora laughed. “I’m just curious as to what happened to you, to make you have such an inferiority complex that you have to piss on the feelings of a tiny first year girl in order to feel cool?” She felt the rage from her own past fueling her as she continued. “Were you never validated as a child, or? Did mommy never compliment your drawings? Or was it daddy, who never came to any of your graduations? You didn’t have hair on your dick in the 7th grade and got bullied for it?”

William was smiling through his embarrassment now and it took everything inside of her not to slap it off his face. “I don’t mean to invalidate whatever you’ve been through, Wilhelm, but there are millions of people in the world with fucked up pasts that manage to be kind to others. Go to fucking therapy instead of taking out your aggression on my friends.”

With one final, condescending look, Noora finished, “And stop walking around like a fucking cliché.”

She shoulder-checked him as she passed, more desperate to find Vilde than worried about how deep she must have cut that fucker. Hopefully her words would wake him up a bit, if he’d even been listening to them. 

The others followed her into the building in search of Vilde. 

 

~<:>~

 

Vilde was nowhere to be found the rest of the day, but she sent a single text to the group chat stating that she was fine, and not to worry. Chris responded by exclaiming about how Noora had dissed William for her, and that she should have stuck around to see it. The others chimed in, but Vilde didn’t answer. 

Noora thought about going over to see if she was okay, but she realized she didn’t actually have Vilde’s address. Instead, she texted.

_Hi Vilde. William is an asshole who needs to get over his daddy issues. You’re stunning and anyone would be damn lucky to have you._

 

~<:>~

 

She got a text from Eva that night.

 _Fucking hell, you were awesome today. I wanted to kiss you right there._

 

~<:>~

 

Noora walked into school the next day with her head held high. She noticed people were staring, which was unnerving, because there hadn’t been that many people in the courtyard when she dissed William, had there? But there was no mistaking the eyes that were on her. 

She spotted Sana, Chris, and Vilde standing in a cluster and migrated to them. Sana and Chris greeted her with smiles. 

“Oi! There’s our heroine!” Chris said, giving her a high-five. 

“You’re seriously the main bitch now,” Sana agreed. “I heard people talking about how you took William down yesterday.” 

“Seriously?” Noora was flattered by Sana’s support, and eye contact. 

“Yeah!”

“It’s not the biggest news,” Vilde commented quietly. 

Noora turned her gaze to the other blonde. Vilde looked beautiful, make-up and outfit done up to perfection. You could hardly tell she was anywhere close to breaking, and that’s how Noora knew she was. 

“How are you?” she asked. 

Vilde smiled hesitantly. “I’m fine. Thank you for your text. And, um, for standing up for me.”

“You should have seen it Vilde!” Chris grinned. “Our Noora’s a legend!”

“Okay, okay,” Noora raised her hands. “Vilde told him off first.” She gently squeezed Vilde’s arm. “That was fucking well done, too.” 

Vilde’s smile seemed more genuine now. 

“But that’s not all people have been talking about—”

“What are we talking about?” Eva interrupted, coming up beside Noora. She gave her a knowing look and pulled her into an enthusiastic side hug. “Eskild hug!” she commented, grinning. Noora laughed. “You were such a boss yesterday. I had chills.” 

“Thanks,” Noora said, a little overwhelmed with all their mentions of it. 

Eva turned to Vilde before she could change the subject. “Are you doing okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m completely over William.”

“Good.”

“Anyway, nobody cares about me and William,” Vilde said. “Everyone’s talking about what happened on Halloween.”

A sharp pain struck Noora’s sternum. “What?”

“Chris and those girls?” Vilde reminded them, as if they didn’t remember. “Apparently he told who they were, or someone figured it out.”

Noora didn’t have to look to know what was written across Eva’s face: panic. The same that she felt, seizing her lungs. 

“I’m not sure who they are yet,” Vilde was saying. “But I know that Chris’s girlfriend, Iben, got really mad about the whole thing…”

Her voice faded away as Noora saw a group of girls approaching them with bitchfaces turned up to eleven. Instinctively, she grabbed beside her. “Eva,” she warned, pulling the redhead behind her. 

Just in time, too. The leader of the group stopped right in front of her, and she’d looked like she’d been ready to smack Eva upside the head. 

“Just so you know, Chris is taken,” the brunette said icily. “So leave him out of your dyke love-fests next time, you whores!” 

Noora saw the swing miles before Iben (she assumed) could throw it, catching her wrist in mid-air and gripping it painfully. 

“Don’t lay a hand on her!” she growled. 

“Let me go!” Iben shouted. 

“Noora!” Eva interjected, clinging to her shoulders in an attempt to calm her. “Let her go!” 

Noora obeyed, shoving Iben’s hand down and as far away from Eva as possible. “We never touched your precious boyfriend!” she spat. 

“Lying whores!” Iben threw viciously back. She stormed away, clutching at her wrist, her posse following close behind. 

“Stay away, you violent bitch!”

“Noora!” Eva said again, digging her fingers in to keep her back. 

Noora felt her vision dance as her anger flared and cooled in the span of a few seconds. She was breathing heavily and it felt as though her teeth might break if she clenched her jaw any harder. 

“Noora,” Eva said, softer, her gloved hands on the blonde’s face. Noora found Eva's eyes, which were bright and dark and frightened, though not of her. Noora knew why she was scared. 

“Noora,” came Vilde’s timid voice from behind her. 

Eva pulled her hands back from Noora’s face, allowing her to turn and glimpse the twin levels of shock on Chris and Sana’s faces, finally swiveling to see Vilde, who looked terrified—of her. 

“What’s going on?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oiyaaaaaaaa sorry to leave it there :/


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's quite the fucking ride but it'll leave you satisfied (to an extent)

Noora sat in Norwegian with her phone on her lap, ignoring the frequent stares she was getting from her classmates. She was busy staring at something more important—her messages—silently willing something to pop in. 

She hadn’t heard from Vilde since Friday. To be fair, she’d been afraid to say anything all weekend, and with Noora typically being the one to take initiative, it made sense that Vilde would stay quiet. Noora didn’t think Vilde would totally shut her out because of what had happened, though. Vilde was a lot of things, but never cruel.

The bell rang suddenly, or not so suddenly given how little she was paying attention, and jolted Noora out of her thoughts. She hurried to pack up her things before anyone could stop to pester her. 

Unfortunately, as she slung her bag over her shoulder and stood up, she almost walked right into the annoying guy, whom she hadn’t seen or spoken to since the Spanish class where she first sat with Eva. 

“Hello,” he said. He wasn’t smiling, but his tone was playful. 

Noora gave him her most passive, disgusted look. “Hi.”

Annoying guy sloped his shoulders casually. “If you and your girlfriend ever want to invite _me_ to join—”

Noora stormed past him before he could finish. 

Her eyes found Vilde immediately after she stepped out of the classroom. The other blonde was distracted by something in her purse, so she didn’t seem to see Noora. It was innocent enough, normal enough, for Noora to walk over and greet her. 

“Hi, Vilde!” 

Vilde’s head jerked up and Noora could see the panic behind her expression, but it smoothed fairly quickly. “Noora! Hi.”

Noora breathed a mental sigh of relief that she had been right, and Vilde wasn’t being a bitch about the situation. “Shall we take the break together?” she suggested, hoping it wasn’t too much. 

Vilde nodded and they walked, Noora a little in front, to the courtyard. 

“How… how are you?” Vilde managed. 

Noora considered. “I’m fine.” She reconsidered. “Well, other than random guys asking me if they can get a threesome.” 

Vilde cringed, eyes wide. “Are you serious? That’s so rude!”

“Yeah,” Noora agreed, pushing the outside door open. 

“I don’t mean to offend, but I heard a lot of girls say shitty things about you. Like, you and Eva are sluts who are just hooking up for attention, that you’re out to steal everyone’s boyfriends—”

“Vilde!” Noora shook her head in exasperation. 

“I’m not saying I believe it! That’s just what I heard.”

“Well, none of it is true.”

Noora paused when she saw Eva walking towards them, looking downright distraught. Her first reaction was to pull the redhead into a hug, but she stopped her arm before they could touch, suddenly wary of what Eva was comfortable with. She hadn’t heard from her much since Friday either. She guessed they were all taking time to recover from the drama. 

“Hi,” she said instead. 

“Hi,” Eva echoed quietly. 

Vilde bit her lip. “And, how are you, Eva?”

She shrugged half-heartedly. “I don’t fucking know.”

The profanity gave Noora a spark of hope, that her Eva was still in there and not completely devastated by all this. 

“Well, have you heard what people are saying?” Vilde pressed. “The first and third-year girls especially. They—”

“Vilde, I don’t care what they’re saying!” Eva cut her off angrily. “It has nothing to do with them!” 

She looked stunning, Noora thought. Flushed with indignance and strength that gave her face a harder, deeper set. Noora was into it, just as much as she was into Eva saying ‘fuck it’ to all the ugly gossip and the ugly people that spread it. 

“Has nothing to do with us?” 

Speaking of ugly people.

Noora recognized the voice, but she turned anyway, to see Ingrid and Sara strutting closer with the other Pepsi Max girls in tow. She narrowed her eyes at the brunette, who didn’t look at her, icy glare focused on Eva. 

“You don’t think stealing someone’s boyfriend is relevant to anyone but you?” Ingrid asked with false sugar. “You would think that, Eva.”

“Shut up!” Noora snapped. 

Ingrid finally met the blonde’s eyes. She didn’t look as intimidated as she had the other times. “So sweet that you’re defending her,” Ingrid smiled. “Even though you know what she’s done. I guess that makes you a slut, too.” 

Noora wanted to get physical, tear her down the way she’d done with Iben, but she preferred to use her words as weapons, and William’s take-down had been so much more effective. 

She smirked. “So sad,” she countered, returning Ingrid’s tone. “That our society has fallen so far, girls who used to braid each other’s hair are now calling each other sluts and going behind each other’s backs. You must be proud of yourself, not having changed one bit since you were thirteen.” 

The Pepsi Max girls glanced at each other warily, and Noora knew she’d done well. Ingrid looked less confident than before. “Judge me all you want,” she said, and pointed a finger at Eva. “But she’s not blameless here either.” 

As the bitches passed, Vilde turned to Noora and Eva with a confused expression. “What did she mean? Did you and Ingrid used to be friends?”

“What happened with me and Ingrid doesn’t matter, Vilde,” Eva said sharply. “Because this has nothing to do with that. I didn’t steal Iben’s boyfriend, or even try to!”

“Then, what happened?” Vilde asked curiously. 

Eva’s fire died slightly and she looked to Noora, who was sorry to disappoint, but she didn’t have the answers any more than Eva did. 

She tried, though. “Chris lied, Vilde,” Noora explained. “What he said about the girls asking him to join was a lie. He just walked in on us and decided to be a dick about it.”

Vilde frowned. “Walked in on you…”

“Yes, kissing, Vilde!” Eva said, exasperated. “Can we go inside?”

She hurried past them without waiting for a response. Vilde looked warily at her back. “It’s not that cold,” she protested in a tiny voice. 

“I think she’s just tired of feeling like a zoo exhibit,” Noora provided coolly. “Some people don’t like their personal life out on display.” 

She followed Eva without waiting for Vilde either. 

 

~<:>~

 

Things weren’t as bad after Monday. People stopped staring, whispering to each other. Noora still felt like it was too much, but she supposed it was only because of Iben’s reaction and their mini-fight that anyone was actually interested. She was tired, though. 

Especially because she felt so distanced from everything again, the way it had been when she first moved back to Oslo. The group vibe they’d had going was scattered, Chris and Sana hanging out on their own, Vilde being secretive and shying away from Noora in particular. And Eva…

Noora didn’t know how Eva was doing. It twisted her gut to think that she’d pushed the other girl away somehow. 

Sighing, she dropped her stuff inside the apartment door and trudged back to her bedroom, no sign of Linn or Eskild as she went. There was only one thing that could make her feel better right now, and it was almost 3,000 kilometers away. 

Carmilla answered after the first ring. _“Hola, my sweet! What’s the weather like up there?”_

“Cold,” Noora complained, flopping face down onto her bed. “Carmilla, I need your help.” 

_“Oh god.”_ Carmilla’s tone changed. _“What’s happened?”_

Noora twisted so she could speak properly. “Things are just really fucked,” she began. “To start, Eva and I kissed—”

_“What?! Tell me you’re not joking this time—”_

“I’m not joking, we kissed!” Noora affirmed. “But it was while she was on a break with her boyfriend and sad and desperate, so I didn’t know what to think. The next day she told me she liked me, like really liked me, but she had to deal with shit first, and then somehow word got out to the whole school that it had happened, but this douchebag made up a lie about us having a threesome with him and now I don’t know what this is between us.” 

Carmilla was silent for a long moment. Noora let her process. 

_“So… to recap…”_ the dark-haired girl started. _“You and the ginger… girl… kissed, but someone found out and told the whole school that you two were having a threesome with some guy?”_

“Yes.” Noora was surprised she’d gotten all that. 

_“And she… Eva… really likes you?”_

“Yes. Or, I don’t know, now. She’s confused now. She’s…” Noora hit the comforter with her fist. “The fucking rumor fucked everything up. She was just realizing her own sexuality; she didn’t want anyone to know yet!” 

_“Okay,”_ Carmilla said. _“Okay. Yeah, that’s shitty.”_

“It’s so damn annoying!” Noora agreed vehemently. 

Carmilla clicked her tongue. _“Right, well, here’s my question: why don’t you just talk to her?”_

“It’s not that simple, Carmilla.”

_“It really is that simple, Noora.”_

“She needs time to recover!” Noora protested. “It feels like I’m the last person she’d want to talk to.” 

_“It feels to me like you’re the_ only _person she’d want to talk to,”_ Carmilla said. _“And you’re pulling away from her. That’s not going to make her feel better.”_

The words tugged Noora back to the conversations she had with Eva, particularly on Halloween when they’d kissed. 

_You always know how to make me feel better._

_She_ knew. Noora did. It didn’t make sense, but it was true. She’d felt closest to Eva that Friday she’d stayed over, when they first watched Fresh Prince, when Eskild had paraded into the kitchen. They were locked together, because they _fit_ together. Or they could fit together, if they let it happen. 

“You might have a point,” Noora conceded thoughtfully. 

_“How you don’t figure these things out on your own is beyond me,”_ Carmilla sighed. 

“Well, that’s why I have you!”

_“Clearly. Listen, I have to go soon. Are you going to be okay?”_

“I’ll be fine. Carmilla?” Noora smiled. “Thanks.”

_“I love you, too.”_

 

~<:>~

 

Noora stared at Eva’s back, summoning the willpower to take her chance and approach. 

She’d only had a night to think over what Carmilla had told her. Maybe it was a bit quick. But she’d given the redhead enough space, and that was the point of this. She just had to swallow her hesitation and rely on her inspirational speaking abilities to cheer Eva up. 

More confident, Noora moved forward. She slowed near the end of the bench and stopped so as not to scare Eva. “Hi!”

It didn’t come out as energetic as she’d hoped. Eva looked up at her as though torn from a trance. Her eyes held both exhaustion and curiosity. “Hi,” she replied. 

Noora quirked her lips ever so slightly. “I’ll sit here.” 

Eva laughed cutely. “H-H.”

This was already going much better than expected. Noora sat with her hands on her lap, squeezing them. “How are you?”

Eva’s hair was up in a gorgeous messy bun, her face clean and bright, her white fluffy coat all tucked under her. Like a hot mess, and Noora loved it. She waited for a response, but Eva just shrugged.

“How are _you_?”

Noora sighed at the diversion. “I’m fine.” She tried plunging in. “I don’t give two shits what other people are saying about us, because it’s not true. It sucks that they’re still saying it, but…” 

She paused to look more intently at Eva. “How are things with Jonas?” 

Eva snorted. “I don’t give two shits about Jonas. We’re through.”

Noora frowned, because she knew that wasn’t true. “Do you mean that, though?”

Eva pondered, tugging at her gloves. “I guess not. But I don’t want to be together with him anymore.” She sighed. “I know it’s something I should do in person, but he’s been avoiding me. He’s not answering any of my texts or calls.” 

That was to be expected, Noora supposed. But it was also bullshit. “You have the right to explain yourself!” she said firmly. “He should hear you out if he wants to feel better.” 

“Yeah, tell him that,” Eva scoffed. “Actually, he might listen to you. Not that I’m saying you should talk to him for me,” she quickly amended. “You’re just…”

“An amazing motivational speaker?”

Noora waggled her eyebrows as Eva laughed (!) again. “Yeah. Something like that.” 

They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes before Noora noticed a group of girls ogling the two of them from across the way. She looked to her right to see Eva’s face fallen. An idea struck her. 

“Hey, you know what always gets me in a better mood?” 

Eva looked skeptical. 

“Okay, promise you won’t hold it against me?” 

The skepticism turned soft, like she was amused. “Yes.” 

“Seriously, you can’t tell anyone,” Noora said, pretending to be very serious. “This is between us.” 

“I’m not a gossip,” Eva said, matching her serious tone. 

Noora waited for the redhead to crack a smile before she did, too, pulling out her phone and earbuds. “Here.” 

Eva put one in and shifted closer, not taking her eyes off of Noora. “If this song doesn’t put you in a better mood, then…” the blonde started, pressing play. 

She watched Eva’s expression morph through exasperation to amusement at the chords. At least she recognized it for what it was. 

“Oh, whoah-oh-ah,” Noora sang along, meeting Eva’s gaze with a smile. “You know you love me, I know you care.” 

The lyrics were oddly specific when Noora was singing them to Eva, but that made it all the more fun. “Just shout whenever, a-ha, and I’ll be there, a-ha!”

She started dancing along, much to Eva’s delight. “You are my love,” Noora sang, ignoring the truth of it in favor of keeping the sweet look on her redhead’s face. “You are my heart. And we will never, ever, ever, be apart…” 

Her stomach dropped at the next lyrics. “Are we an item? Girl quit playing…” she trailed off, choosing to stop there for her dignity’s sake. She let the song play for a little while longer, heart in her throat, not looking at Eva. 

Much to her dismay, she felt a shadow to her left, and looked over to see none other than old Alexander knock-off himself with his stupid hood and his stupid hair and a stupid grin on his face. 

She paused the song and took her headphone out. “Did you want something?” 

“Justin Bieber? Cool.” 

“Yeah, okay,” Noora responded sarcastically. “Was there something else?”

William swept his bangs out of his face, like it was supposed to be sexy or something. “Want to go to my place to do homework? Your girlfriend can come, too.”

Noora paused for the sheer insanity of the statement to sink in. She knew exactly what he was asking, but decided—since she had so brutally destroyed him during their last interaction—that she would give him the benefit of the doubt.

“You heard about my Spanish tutoring? That’s so great,” Noora cooed. “The thing is, Eva’s the only one who gets sessions for free. So you’re going to have to pay me. Even then—” She held up a finger. “I wouldn’t count on it. I don’t feel like helping you so much since you still treated my friend like shit.” 

William huffed a laugh and leaned forward, staring her down the way Penetrator Chris used to do with Eva. Fuckboys. 

“You think that was a joke?” Noora teased. She turned to Eva. “He thinks I’m joking, Eva. Can you believe this dumbass?”

At first, Noora saw the look of rage in Eva’s eyes (which Noora also felt), mixed with fear and insecurity, and she was afraid that would win out. But Eva didn’t miss a beat. “I do believe it,” she said tightly. “You have to have a pretty low IQ to ask out my girlfriend right in front of me.” 

That caught both Noora and William off guard, but Noora pretended to go with it, smirking at William, though her heart was beating rapidly. “I think that answers the question, Wilhelm.”

“William,” he corrected. 

“I’m sorry. William.” Noora leaned closer to him. “You can fuck off now.”

He did, to their surprise. There was a moment during which it looked like he was about to say something, shout some stupid comment back to them, but instead he just smiled and walked away. 

“Who does he think he is?” Eva said venomously. 

Noora turned to see her glaring after him. It was actually really attractive, she thought. It made her feel full to see Eva so strong. 

“He’s an asshole,” Noora replied lamely, her own fervor gone in the wake of William’s departure. She couldn’t stop thinking about what Eva had said, as though answering the question in the song. _Ask out my girlfriend right in front of me._

_Girlfriend._

“Eva…” Noora started, but their phones both chimed with a text from Vilde. 

_I’m calling an extraordinary Russ bus meeting tomorrow at 3pm. Important that everyone shows up._

“Like we have any ordinary bus meetings,” Noora said drily. 

Eva looked worried. “Do you think it’s about…”

Noora had thought the same thing, but she shrugged to put Eva at ease. That was her mission today, after all. “Not necessarily. Vilde stirs up all kinds of drama. Not that it’s her fault.” 

Eva shot her a look. 

“Okay, some of it’s her fault,” Noora relented. “But we have to give her chances.”

Eva rolled her eyes. “We give her chances; she doesn’t use them.” 

Noora made a face. “Good point.” 

They fell silent again. Noora noticed that they were sitting quite close on the bench and thought that maybe now would be a good time to say what she needed to say, not that their proximity had anything to do with timing—

“Eva.” The redhead gave her attention. “I’m sorry if you felt like you couldn’t talk to me, after Friday. Or that I… I pulled away or something.”

Eva furrowed her brows. “Noora… you didn’t do anything wrong.” She heaved another sigh, shrugging her coat further onto her shoulders. “This just sucks, that’s all. It… felt like I needed some time alone. To think.”

“Yes, yes,” Noora nodded vigorously. “Of course.” 

“Thank you for cheering me up today, though,” Eva added. When Noora gave her an affectionate look, the redhead bumped their shoulders. “Do I get my exclusive, free Spanish lesson now?”

Noora’s heart was out of control, as was her smile. “Do you want it?”

“Yeah! I haven’t been able to concentrate on anything in weeks and I’m way behind.” 

“Okay,” Noora said seriously. “Then we better go catch you up.” 

 

~<:>~

 

Eva texted her that night, for the first time since last Thursday. 

_I’m sorry if I was the one who pulled away._

Noora frowned at the screen, typing back quickly. 

_I think we both did. There’s nothing to apologize for._

The three bubbles popped up immediately. 

_You say that a lot, but it’s not true. Apologies are important._  
_I’m going to talk to Jonas tomorrow and break up with him for good._

Noora hesitated before responding. 

_If that’s what you want._

Eva’s answer:

_I know what I want, Noora._

 

~<:>~

 

Noora waited for the bus meeting all day, anticipation building in her gut. She barely noticed the few people who were still rude enough to stare. All that had been playing in her head since yesterday was Eva. 

_Ask out my girlfriend right in front of me._

_I know what I want, Noora._

Fuck, Eva said Noora was good with words, but she was the one making Noora’s heart crazy with these almost-affirmations that Noora was far too insecure to believe were true. That was another thing to work on, she supposed. 

She walked into the classroom at three to find Chris already there, eating something from a plastic bag. “Hello,” Noora said.

“Heyo!” Chris responded, tossing food up into the air and catching it in her mouth. 

Noora half-smiled. “You’re good at that.” 

“Yeah, practice makes perfect.” 

Eva came in shortly after, followed closely by Sana. They sat down next to each other, Eva between Sana and Noora. 

“Hey,” she breathed. 

“Hey,” Noora echoed. “Is everything… I mean did you…?”

Eva shook her head. “Not yet. He’ll be at the skate park tonight, so I’m planning to confront him there.” 

“Okay.” Noora was disappointed in Jonas for avoiding Eva this long. 

“What are we talking about?” Sana asked curiously. 

Noora looked to Eva, who answered: “I’m breaking up with my boyfriend.” 

Sana raised her eyebrows. “You haven’t broken up with him already?”

Noora balked at the suggestion. Sana was more intuitive than she’d given her credit for. Although that was an idiot move on Noora’s part, considering how insightful and bold Sana usually was. 

“We’re on a break right now,” Eva explained. “But there’s still things I need to say to him, to just… get everything out there, and be amicable.” 

“Ah. So it’s for closure,” Chris offered, tossing up another piece of… popcorn? And catching it smoothly. 

“Yeah,” Eva nodded. 

Sana checked her phone. “Fucking hell, when is Vilde getting here?” 

The door suddenly swung open and Vilde strode in like a woman on a mission. Her face genuinely concerned Noora, who was not crossing her fingers that this would be a pleasant meeting. She could already tell it wouldn’t.

As Vilde sat down, Sana spoke up. “Will this extraordinary meeting take a long time? Because I have other things to do.”

“I’ll get straight to the point,” Vilde said loudly, almost cutting her off. “As everyone knows, Eva and Noora had an unlucky incident at the Halloween party.” 

Noora’s heart sank. “Quite a lot of people are upset with them,” Vilde continued. “The Rad bus group has blacklisted them.”

“Vilde…” Noora began, but Vilde steamrolled over her. 

“I got a pretty unpleasant phone call from the Rad girls yesterday. They’re saying that as long as you two are on our bus…” She looked between them. “We’re all blacklisted. For being faux-lesbian sluts.”

Noora swore she heard a gasp, but she couldn’t pinpoint whose it was. She tightened her grip on the side of her chair. “But, Vilde, it’s not _faux_ -lesbian—"

“Do you all want to know what happened at the Halloween party?” Eva interjected. 

She sounded cool and composed, but like she was about to strike anyone who dared speak. Noora knew she was just tired of all this shit. Still, Eva’s tone meant business. 

“I kissed Noora in one of the rooms,” Eva continued. “It was just us, alone, no audience, no attention.” Her gaze bore directly into Vilde. “That is, until Penetrator Chris walked in on us and decided to spread a filthy homophobic rumor that is so bullshit I can’t stand anyone who believes it.”

Noora liked this side of Eva. It was odd to want someone she cared for to be angry, but fuck if she wasn’t inspired by how capable and Amazonian Eva was right now. 

No one said a word. Not even Vilde, who looked on the verge of tears or some kind of hysterical explosion. Noora tried to coax her out of it. 

“Vilde…” she said. “You _knew_ I was into girls…”

Vilde tensed. “It doesn’t matter if I believe it! It matters that those who blacklisted you do.”

There was a signature sound of disgust and Noora turned towards Sana. “I think we can handle blacklisting by some skinny bitches who’ve probably never thrown a punch in their lives,” she drawled. 

“It’s more serious than fighting, Sana!” Vilde protested. “Last year a bus was blacklisted and someone destroyed their brakes. All of them could have died!”

“We don’t even have a bus!” Sana countered, widening her eyes in mock fear. 

“No, but the point is they can sabotage us! I know of several girls that go too far.” 

“Yeah, like I said,” Sana replied, dismissive. “They can try.”

Vilde’s quivering core returned and Noora, while grateful for Sana’s confidence, wasn’t ready to handle an angry Vilde. 

“Okay, we’ll be on the look-out, Vilde,” she said, trying not to sound too condescending. “But I don’t think that’s really the point of this meeting.” She tilted her head. “Is it?” 

Vilde stayed quiet. The four of them looked around at each other with varying degrees of worry. Eva focused in on Vilde. “We all know the rumor isn’t true now,” she said in that same firm tone. “We don’t care about blacklists. What else is there to talk about?”

That was what it took. 

Vilde snapped. 

“We can talk about you stealing Ingrid’s boyfriend!” 

Noora heard another gasp, this time definitely from Chris. “Vilde!” Noora warned angrily. 

Vilde didn’t listen to her. “I’m just saying, it makes sense for people to believe it! We’re not morons—you’ve done this before!”

“Vilde, that’s enough!” Noora thundered. She’d never known her voice to go so low and threatening, but she was unable to hold back her anger anymore, especially when it came to defending Eva. “Eva didn’t do anything wrong! Why are you attacking her?”

Vilde narrowed her eyes at Noora, like she was accepting a challenge. “I’m not homophobic, if that’s what you mean!” she spat. 

“Really?” Sana scoffed. “There’s not much evidence in favor of that.”

“Well that’s easy for you to say!” Vilde shrieked. “We didn’t all grow up in your Muslim gangster world where everyone can be a lesbian!”

She stood violently and grabbed her things, practically flying from the room. 

A few moments later, Sana picked up her bag and left through the other exit, slamming the door behind her. 

No one quite knew how to react. 

Noora frankly couldn’t believe that Vilde had been so damn rude, though she understood that most of her hostility came from fear. Shame and self-hatred, exactly as Noora had experienced. It was killing her to see it happening all over again. 

She looked over at Eva, whose face was set in a grim, stony expression, like she was quietly seething. Chris’s expression was unreadable. 

They sat in equally uncomfortable, enraged, worried, painful, and disappointed silence until Chris decided to say something.

“Hey… I guess I should tell you guys…” the brunette started slowly. “Sana and I have kinda been dating for a while now. So… you’re not alone.”

Noora couldn’t say she’d seen that coming. 

Eva gave a sincere nod. “Thanks, Chris.” 

They stayed there for a while.

 

~<:>~

 

Noora didn’t chase after Vilde. She didn’t text or call or anything. She thought, at this point in time, for this situation, that giving her space was right the thing to do. She did, however, send a text to Sana. 

_I’m sorry for what Vilde said. It was uncalled for. But please don’t think too little of her._

Sana read the message but didn’t respond. Noora was okay with that. 

She marathoned Twin Peaks with Linn until the wee hours of the morning, and when Eskild still wasn’t back, they decided he was sleeping over somewhere and called it a night. Linn didn’t go back to her room though, instead curling up on the couch, and Noora knew she would be up longer just to make sure. Linn was quietly thoughtful like that. She and Eskild were practically siblings. 

Before Noora got into bed, she checked her messages one last time, but there was nothing from Eva or Sana. Or Vilde. 

Surprisingly, she fell asleep faster than usual, her body relaxing fully into the sheets. 

 

~<:>~

 

Noora skipped her last period on Friday. It was almost the end of the term anyway and she didn’t need to be there if they were just ‘studying’ for the final exam. 

She stepped out into the cold air and wondered what she was going to do with the rest of her evening. She had nowhere to be, it was the weekend… she was worried about Vilde, whom she hadn’t seen at all today. Maybe she’d decided to skip as well. That was the feeling Noora was getting from school now; her effort was slowly evaporating and the environment had been so hostile recently that she’d literally rather be anywhere else. 

She hoped Vilde was okay, but it was hard for her to believe that after the shit show yesterday. Some people healed better on their own but some didn’t, and Vilde was such a sociable person. Maybe Noora should call her.

Then again, maybe Noora was overthinking. Vilde was stronger than people gave her credit for. Noora didn’t want to be one of those people. She’d worry, she decided, if Vilde stayed absent next week.

Noora’s phone buzzed in her hand and she frowned. It was a text from her father again, letting her know that they’d be back in the country for a few weeks. She grit her teeth. Like she hadn’t already known. Like she cared. She didn’t know why they still expected her to visit when they made no effort themselves. 

Correction: she did know. To keep up appearances. 

A new message popped up on her screen, but it was from Linn, reminding her of the shopping list for the weekend. She might as well just head home. 

The bus had barely gone two stops when Noora’s phone vibrated in her pocket. She pulled it out to see Eva calling her. Quickly, she tapped accept and plugged one ear. 

“Eva?”

 _“Hi, Noora.”_ Her voice sounded clear, like she was preparing for something. 

“What’s up?” Noora asked. 

Eva took a moment before responding. _“I broke up with Jonas. Can you come over?”_

“Yes, of course,” Noora replied immediately. She stood as the bus lurched to a stop and threw her off her balance. She had to get off here to get to Eva’s house. “I’m on my way.” 

Her nerves began to calm when she knocked on the window. Or, she forced them to. Up to this point, there had been obstacle after obstacle standing in the way of this… whatever it was. Mostly Jonas. And now that he was gone, Noora didn’t have much of an excuse anymore to stay away from Eva romantically. 

The redhead unlocked the window and turned away to let Noora climb through. When Eva turned back to her, she looked as nervous as Noora felt. (Had felt.)

“Hi,” Noora said. 

“Hi.”

They held that position, meters away from each other, just staring. 

“So you finally broke up,” Noora tried. 

“Yeah.” 

“… How does it feel?” 

Eva sighed. “Freeing. Like I’m back to being myself.”

Noora shook her head, confused. “You’re not sad?”

“No,” Eva said. It sounded honest. “I mean, it was hard, but it felt right. I got everything off my chest.” She bit her lip. “I actually don’t think I’ve ever just… said what I wanted to say like that. To him.” 

“What did you say?” Noora wondered. 

Thankfully, Eva didn’t avoid the question. “I told him how I’ve been feeling about us recently. How much he’s hurt me. I let him say what he needed to say, too, but he…” She paused and her fingers found the ends of her hair. “He didn’t understand right away. When I told him that the rumors weren’t true and I hadn’t hooked up with Chris he seemed relieved, and when I told him I’d still hooked up with you that didn’t change.” 

Noora had a sense of where this was going. “He said that he didn’t _mind_ ,” Eva continued, frowning. “Like kisses between girls didn’t _mean_ anything.” Noora heard the layer of disgust under Eva’s tone. “I explained to him that they did, that ours did. And that’s when he finally got it.”

Noora’s heart was picking up now. _Ours did_. Mean something. “We talked about why we were even together, too. We basically resolved all the shit hanging over our heads since we’ve been dating.” Eva shrugged. “So, yeah. Freeing.” 

“That’s great, Eva,” Noora smiled. “I’m really happy he finally listened to you.” 

“Yeah, me too.”

It was quiet, like that was the end of that, but not the end of the conversation. Noora could tell Eva still had something to say. The look on her face put all talk of Jonas out of Noora’s mind. 

Eva’s eyes flicked back and forth, searching Noora’s. “But that’s not the only shit I have to resolve.” 

This was it. Noora braced herself, feeling dizzy with anticipation. She waited for Eva to make the first move. 

The redhead did take a tiny step forward. “Noora,” she began seriously. “I don’t know if I was clear before, but let me be clear now.” She brought her other foot forward. “I like you. Not just as a friend.” 

Noora couldn’t move, captivated by Eva’s words. “That’s why I kissed you the first time,” she continued. “And that’s… that’s why I want to kiss you now.” 

Eva’s confidence wavered at Noora’s lack of response. “Can I kiss you now?” she asked. 

Noora was still too stunned to form words. “Please say yes,” Eva murmured.

“Yes,” Noora breathed. “Fucking hell, yes.” 

And it was her who closed the distance this time, pressed her hands on either side of Eva’s face and kissed her the way she’d imagined kissing her the first time, with no hesitation and no reservation. Eva sighed into her mouth and kissed her back hungrily, the way Noora had imagined she’d kiss back, submitting to her will while taking all that she wanted. 

Their tongues and lips reunited, fitting so beautifully back together. Fuck, if Noora had known that her crush would turn into this… she hadn’t known, and that was what took her breath away so wonderfully. Falling for another person wasn’t something she did easily. It was something out of her control. 

But Noora could control this, now, her fingers on the back of Eva’s neck, Eva’s hands in her hair. She shifted one hand down to pull Eva’s waist closer to her own and felt the redhead gasp ever so slightly, but she shifted with the motion and let Noora move her. She let Noora’s lips rest heavy against her pulse, let her mouth shift lower, let her tug at the hem of her shirt which she lifted for their convenience. 

The gentle, gentle ways in which they collided. 

They fell back onto the bed at some point, Noora’s shirt also free from her shoulders which Eva pulled forward, digging in to keep her close. It reminded Noora of the previous Friday, when Eva had protected her, when she had protected Eva. They really were so _good_ together, so good, Noora thought as she sucked at Eva’s collarbone just to hear the redhead curse. 

It wasn’t long before both their pants were off as well, and Noora tucked her leg carefully between Eva’s. She started to move and she found no fear in her lover’s eyes, to her utmost fucking relief. There in Eva’s dark gaze she saw only curiosity, trust, and desire. 

Noora only started the process, letting Eva grind against her thigh and grip her arms and lean her head back as she arched into the touch. Wild, like fire, her hair fanned out around the pillows, matching her passionate spirit. Noora had never seen anything more beautiful in her life, until Eva finally came in her underwear, and _that_ was something Noora had never deemed herself so lucky to have fucking _caused_. 

They kissed each other senseless to ride out the buzz of electricity. Noora sank dutifully to the side, though Eva pulled her close again and locked their legs back together and after a few long minutes of indulgent sucking and bruising, they began again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you :)


End file.
